You have neither a reason
to believe or disbelieve,
you are a victim.
You are not a psychic
or a mind reader,
you are human
waiting and biding time,
all for nothing but some kind
of certainty and clarity,
the two impossible c's.
So count your options then,
when hope doesn't show
and betrayal becomes them.
Count possibilities on both hands
and realize not a single finger
produces a lead to follow.
Zero. Lost. Fold. Finished.
Handle it the way you're being treated,
silently and bitterly like a snake
writhing in love and its cheap riches
terrible representations,
endorsed by Hallmark cards and diamonds.
Assume the position of desperate
and misunderstood once other ways
to think and believe no longer remain.
Be just as closed off as the perpetrator
keeping you in your place and run for it.
Set up the stage, lover, and I will act for ages.
Comments
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A numb feeling coming out of the words. Kristin you expressed yourself well within this deep piece
So skillful and haunting, I quite liked the stanza of --
Handle it the way you're being treated,
silently and bitterly like a snake
writhing in love and its cheap riches
terrible representations,
endorsed by Hallmark cards and diamonds.
Cindy
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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I don't believe I thanked you for this comment you gave me. So thank you Always appreciated
Kristin -
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No sweat Kristen
But thanks
I read it again coming back here to reply and was like WOW, LOL
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Kristin, this is strong stuff, and I feel like I just walked into the middle of a battle of emotions between two people - which means that I'm interpreting the "you" in the poem not as the poet, but as someone, perhaps still loved by the poet, scowling and sour in the distance and scratching back what he or she thinks the poet has given him or her.
I like that sneering tone; it's catty-clawed like an enraged feline toying with a "snake / writhing in love and its cheap riches" and feeling pitiably sorry for itself because it images itself as "right" and the poet as "wrong". Bad situation, for sure. And so, the poet responds in kind, like an actor on the "the stage" that the "lover" has written, and playing the part with lethal and sardonic skill. Wow, what a drama this is!
At the same time, I have a sense that the poet wouldn't have gone to such lengths as imaging the relationship as "Zero. Lost. Fold. Finished." if she had no feelings left. Does the poet protest too much? Could very well be, or she wouldn't bother with such invective. So, for me, the poem has at least two layers: one razor sharp and angry, the other wondering herself how to get those "two Cs" back together.
The poem reeks beautifully with sadness and anger, wanting to forgive but still vindictive. Rich stuff, Kristin, and written with a passion that almost belies its poisonous tone. Terrific, in fact.
Lad -
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Heya, Lad
You know, I hardly know how to reply to you comments because they are always in depth and concise, reflective and intuitive.
You are very correct with your outline of this, it is quite a drama and yes, it contains two layers. One of myself feeling cheated and angry, getting back at the person who put me in a position I didn't want to be in. But the other part is that I may not be 'good' at getting back. I have protest in my blood but I also have a need for agreement and for things to be clear as possible.
All of this, I believe you understood. Thank you for stopping by and commenting on this one, Lad. And thank you for seeing more than one side as that is often the conflict in me.
Kristin
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As promised.
This poem has a different feel to it. As i've mentioned before with your recent batch of poems (if we may call it that), the writing has been different. Its not bad, it just is. The tone here reminds me of Rumi, the tone taken almost like a lecture said in that rather meditative and stern tone. Its a solemn grasp to reality, not happy or angry. Just is.
The first stanza felt like you were trying to grab a hold of things and then you assure yourself that being man there is no certainty, how can their be...you are not a mind reader and the future is unknown. The second stanza seemed to be promising (reminds me of counting your blessings), but then you realize there is nothing to count. Its zero. There is no option. Its a dead end.The third stanza felt like you've decided to act like the perpetrator. The last stanzaS felt like since their are no options and their is uncertainty in how this relationship shall unfold, you react. The lover to set the stage and you shall act accordingly.
I'm not sure if i got this right. THis is the 3rd time i read it. And the meaning changed after the third read. I suddenly caught the mention of 'set ut the stage, lover, and i will act for ages.'
There may seem to be that resignation, but it is a decisive resignation...a well thought of decision. Pondered over...as that is the tone. Ah well synth, this is how i understood it. Enlighten me if i'm off base. See you around.
-iphios -
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Hey Iphigene
Glad to see you stopped by and read this again to leave a comment, it's greatly appreciated.
It seems to me that you understand the points I was trying to make, got my tone and the way I delivered it. It is very stern as we have discussed before. Perhaps in a way it's cutting the other down as I have been cut down. Perhaps it's just accepting that trust isn't my cup of tea. Not a horrible thought to think, but not a nice one, as you pointed out.
I'd love to enlighten you or make something more clear but that isn't necessary this time around, I feel perfectly understood.
Thankyou,
Cat
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I know this needs a lot of work.
Gave myself a bit of a vacation from writing.
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