If I had followed your course,
You are sure,
It would have been better.
It would’ve been better,
To marry my first lover.
To bury my first lover.
Long years in between,
Of ever growing sameness.
Of towing a line so heavy.
Of painless consumption...
It would’ve been better,
To say everything I felt.
As long as
I spoke in euphemisms.
As long as
I didn’t talk too loud.
It would’ve been better,
For me to stay at home.
And live in the orchard,
Making seed.
Fading away into winter sleep.
Satisfied to watch,
As my progeny are carried away.
Satisfied to read postcards
From exotic lands.
Don’t you think, Big Brother,
For you,
It would have been better,
If I, simply never existed.
Author notes
Hi, I wrote this poem this morning. I have only done some minor editing.....and would appreciate any imput...ttfn Laurel
As deep as you want to go.......
Comments
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I like it. You used the wrong tense in line 12...it should be felt.
It's pretty good though. I believe that you write well. I think it's nice how you point out regret and how people wish they had done things differently. I myself think back sometimes and wonder if the other road was better than the one I chose. All beings do I'm sure.
Nice work,
Ashley -
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Hi,
Thanks for the comment, I'd have probably never noticed the mistake.....I'm still not sure I like the end....My feeling is more like he wants me to be a clone....than non existant.....Thanks again....ttfn Laurel
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