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Animal I Have Become

I am an animal. Caged inside my own regrets and insecurities. Being fed lies and guilt. Corrupting my own youth without hesitation. Rotting my own body with alcohol and drugs just to drown out my own unrelenting consciousness. Engulfed by a figment of suffering. Self-inflicted disfigurement of a fading innocence. Spiraling down the same whole I climbed out of. Revolting euphoria caused by inhumane thoughts and images. A nobody with high expectations of society. A nobody with dreams. An attention deprived teenager that just wants an escape. Forcing others into guilt and shame, when I am no better. Another statistic of a broken family, divorced parents, hatred. Failed attempts of suicide, leave me with no fears. Insomniac, bi-polar, and obsessively compulsive. Entertained by horrific details soaked in blood. Intrigued by murder and death. An observer, an artist, a sick mental patient. Thriving off books and poems, eager to escape into a new reality. Haunted by dreams that just enhance these horrors! Macabre. Feelings have reached a mechanic standstill. Cold and bitter, both my own doing. Looking for a scapegoat. Tortured by my own daredevil mentality. Trying to love things that can't be loved... Immune to heartbreak, desensitized to depression. Too many untold secrets, too many hidden lies. Stuck inside my own mind, wanting to release this inner beast, that relentlessly tares at my conscious.. Untameable.. No boundaries. Scars Ceased morals long ago. Grasping at ground that isn't there.

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Reviews


  • iphios
    December 26, 2007

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    This was a beautiful read. The form very apt to the content. Despite the prose appearance, the short sentences and phrases keep a rhythm.
    This poem's subject matter is something i am well familiar with. I have shared the same thoughts once (and sometimes i do slip back). The first line "I am an Animal" is a powerful entry, lets the reader wonder why the poet states such. The next line tells us the animal is caged, trapped in a whirlpool of crap. Yes, we become victims of society and the dictates of our age group. We self-destruct like its the best way to go about our lives. And yes, most of us are part of a statistic: Broken homes, insomnia, obsessive compulsive, and suicidal (this a VERY familiar list). Yet, this things are products/results; not reasons.
    We do try to overcome it all, we try to bring our insanity to a decent level...to a bearable level. Books and poetry i find become safe haven to the troubled soul. It is somewhere between the pages we find someone like us...someone similar to us.

    There is much to this poem. It is packed with thoughts that makes the reader wonder about the beast within each of us. Have we self-imposed our own cages? An animal that is free lives accordingly to nature; but when you capture it, tie it down it becomes ferocious and ugly. Hence, in time when freedom is attained it will release the anger (the beast).

    The last few lines speak of the lack of control and confusion. Yet, for we are man, proud to be rational, there must be a way to let go of the inner beast and still be able to grasp the ground that IS there.

    -iphios