i see the desecration
of the sacred sensual
touch
in absence of trepidation
love
degraded down to
lust
meh!
this revelation comes
while sitting in a mall
but
if i could have anything at all it'd be
the what-if back to when
i had not to think of
then: a place i should have always been
and would not ever leave behind
my purity
again.
Author notes
i generally hate rhyming poetry, but that's how it came out.
more importantly, this is a lament about wanting to go back to sexual purity, and thus savor all the small-talk and similar intimacies that precede sex.
and i hope u like the subtle humor in "cumms". lol.
take it as u will.
Pap
p.s. - happy new year, eh.
...
*update: i changed it back to "comes" at the suggestion of Lad (read the comments). lol. i've had my fun, literally.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I found this an interesting read on the ever so common concept of love and lust; and how society has gotten all of that mixed, one meaning the other.
The word desecration appealed to me, as its been a while i heard someone put meaningless sex into that context. Most people would just say that it was just that and move on. Calling this love-absent action as desecration gave the action gravity.
The last stanza creates the setting and puts into context how the poet saw the whole degradation of love. It hard to remain pure, whether or not you are a Christian. In general, trying to stay away from the worlds temptation is burdening and difficult. But i suppose harder on those who have to stand up for their faith/belief. Sometimes its during these challenges that one would wish to remain as innocent as a child. Where the most mistake one can do is to break a vase or eat too much chocolate. Someone once told me that once you are exposed to such things, its hard to go back to the way you were (assuming its possible). I also think that if we are able to regain our purity or at least hold steadfast to our stance, then we become better people.
I like how this poem speaks bluntly and its interesting that your title is "now"...its reflects two things for me...the state of the poet possibly and how the now...the want for sex is responded to and the waiting ignored. good read pap.
-iphios -
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*why weren't u in the chatbox (totally off topic)
iphios
thanx for the read. much obliged.
glad you liked my word choice. desecration really did pull my thoughts forward now that you've made me think about it. it just fit so well. and is exactly how i felt. desecrated. my value reduced. cheap.
and yes, it is hard to stay pure regardless of faith. but religion puts more pressure on an person because they are trying to live up to a set standard. everyone has their own personal standards true, but as a Christian, it is very hypocritical of me to do something which i have openly declared i am against and that is openly known i am opposed.
it just makes failure that much worse. like i have this responsibility and i was irresponsible. like i can't be trusted. but hey, i am not Jesus, right. lol. i guess the great thing is that he was a man so went through what we go through, and conquered for us. which is not an excuse to fail, but rather an example showing us that we too can overcome. either way, Christian or not, i agree w/ you in that if we hold steadfast to our stance in an effort to regain our purity then we do become better people. better in the fact that we walk the walk, not just talk it, so to speak.
and the significance of the title, for me, is that i see the desecration "now" - after having done the things i did. like a "revelation".
thanx again,
Pap
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indeed
lol. "cumms" is unnecessary, but it came to me and i thought it was funny, however out of place. lol. kinda throws off the contemplative thought of the poem, i know. i'm just not an up-tight sorta guy. meh. i've had my fun, so now i'll correct it. lol.
and yes, you are right, purity can be regained. i assume you know the whole spiel of Christianity, so i won't preach. but repentance has always worked for me. and thank God he is a so forgiving. or we'd never stand a chance.
ya know, i'm a Christian, but i've just been out of it the last couple weeks and this whole situation reflects what happens when i'm caught off guard.
i'll be the first to admit i'm not perfect. after all, that's exactly what Christians do. we are all sinners, but i believe God delights seeing us get back up and trudge on.
it's like that Confucius quote, something like: "our greatest glory is not in our falling, but in rising every time we fall."
amen to that!
Pap
p.s. - don't worry about not reading my poetry. i haven't been writing much or commenting much during the last couple weeks. it's just that time of year i guess. and ya know, i always appreciate your input.
thanx again! -
Sorry I've not been reading your work lately, Pap; if they're not Featured, I have a tendency to miss poems. So I'm glad I just now checked into your page. Well, seems you've been prolific lately; and that's a plus.
I like the short phrases of this one, like impressions, thoughts of an inner conversation: the poet speaks within himself. And about sex, how it can be "degraded" down to "lust", just as all beautiful things in life can be degraded to either extreme of too-little or too-much. I think Aristotle was right, the old Greek: virtue lies in the middle, neither to the right nor to the left. Your poem seems to echo that for me.
And I liked that you imaged "the mall" - a superficial place that reminds the poet of another place: a time in his life when "what-if" was much more lovely and enchanting than any erotic consummation or orgasm. That thought only confirms the sweetness of innocent purity.
I understand the cleverness of "cumms" for "comes" and why you wanted to use it to strengthen the sexual theme of the poem. Hmmm...for me (just my opinion) the word seems a bit sophomoric, trying to hard. The whole poem already images sex-love versus sex-lust, so, for me that "cumms" is unnecessarily too clever. But, as I say, that's merely my opinion, Pap. I really like this poem: its longing for another, previous, purer day.
But I wonder: to my mind, purity can be regained, not in the body, perhaps, but in the soul, the spirit, the character of a person. Something like: gold isn't pure gold until it's fired up and all dross and dirt is hammered away. Just another thought!
Good poem.
Lad
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More Carey Grant...
less Andrew Dice Clay...
That seems to be your message here as to the raw nature of sexuality today. Funny, but my wife and I were just discussing recently how sexual humor today is more of the locker room variety rather than the clever subtlety so ever present in old Carey Grant Movies and the like. Subtle is sexy and a big hand on the ass is not the key to a woman's heart(unless of course you've already been entrusted with it...)
Hear, hear and a big amen.
Kudos, bro. I hear you loud and clear. Love is intellectual and spiritual as well as physical. Can't take one and dis the others without feeling shortchanged. It's so easy to take the flesh train. Destination's are never what they're cracked up to be and arrival is far too soon in light of the realization that joy was to be had in the journey whose corner was just cut way too short in hurried bid for a fast finish.
Now what was that saying? "Happiness is not a station we arrive at, but a manner of traveling"? Yeah, something like that. In the badda-bing-badda-boom, the bing and the two baddas are what make the boom so good.
This sounds like a contemplative morning after a wild night of reveling. Morning's great like that, eh?
I enjoyed this, pap.
al
p.s. rhyme kicks ass. Oh, and hey...today is the first day of the rest of your life.
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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REPENT, EVIL DOER!
yeah.
thanx for the encouragement. always an uplifting word from you. and yes, it came after a few nights of reveling. i almost forgot why i liked the girl. you know, i find her personality attractive. and i don't want to lose that in the midst of lust. she is very beautiful, for sure. but i dislike a lot of beautiful people because of their personality. and i know a lot of beautiful people that have great personalities, but i don't find attractive. so to lose that attraction for this particular girl would be like being intimate with all those girls whose personalities i am not attracted to. what would be the difference? it's like having sex w/ a manican. not that i had sex w/ this girl, but we came very close. anyhow, it just would be pointless self-satisfaction. and i've found that such satisfaction has not end. and gets dull and boring. and very un-satisfying. which is what i was feeling when i wrote this.
besides, i'm a Christian trying to stay pure. although i can't say i tried too hard here. but God hasn't given up on me yet. again, you're right. today is the beginning of the rest of my life.
amen to that!
Pap
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Repent, schmepent...
It is a simple fact that people raised with a moral compass feel lost when off course, which is what resonates from your writing here. Strangely, the word repent means to correct course, or aim, and to hit your target. And what are we all aiming for, anyway? To be happy. Be happy my friend, that is my only wish. You seem like a good guy and I like good people, being as how they inspire me to emulate the same. I didn't mean to be didactic, but sometimes I just am. Sorry, I often think I know everything. That's just me and I am laboring to overcome my arrogant assness. Please be patient...
I really enjoyed and identified with this. The challenge for sexual purity(damn, that sounds so prudish)continues throughout life and it is inspiring to read others tackling that challenge head on(no pun intended).
Cheers, sexually frustrated bro(been there, done that) The key: commit to a good woman and make babies. It's lotsa fun.
Al -
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the sea is too salty !
ha. i'm not too hard on myself. i've always said "that's how babies are made". lol.
but ah! to find a good woman. now that's the real challenge.
Pap
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Hmmmmm...we seem to be on the same wavelength a little bit. How strange.
I like that it rhymes subtly. If the rhythm was overbearing and singsong it would've taken away from the content, I think, but instead it's woven in very quietly, sort of like the emotions I'm seeing you feeling. Let's see if I can explain better. I got the feeling that all of this is latent in your life now, but hidden, and you're hoping that no one will really notice (least of all whoever it is that took you from that sanctity in the first place). That comes a lot from the sort of hidden rhythm, the somewhat hesitant and clandestine enjambment. I really like the technique, intentional or not.
As for the whole situation...I dunno. I could rant on about it for a long time, even though I don't necessarily have the same sort of experience. It seems like we're on two sides of the act, and it's interesting to see the way that we're reacting. I'm sure we'll have this conversation at some point!
For the record, I did in fact like the way you inserted "cumms". I'm not really sure, though, how you mean it. Were you fooling around at the mall?? ;-) I could see that, though my first impression was of you sitting on a bench next to some plants, watching the movement of others around you. Sadly the mall is rife with PDA, "the desecration of the sacred sensual touch" and things of that nature (along with the halls at my school...blech!), and it seems a fitting place for you to reflect on this part of yourself that you miss. I know the feeling all too well (unfortunately). I like the introspective tone of the poem, and the way that you don't necessarily blame someone for not being the way you once were. Huh.
Anyway, nice job.
Nenni
language: 3, rhythm: 5, subject: 4, tone: 5, form: 4.
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i.e.
...and oh, as for the mall. i decided to leave it in there b/c it seemed fitting that a mall is where one goes to get stuff, but i didn't want any of it. rather, i wanted my purity back - something which can't be bought. -
"comes"
heh. yes we are on the same wavelength, somewhat.
lol. no. i was not jerking off in the mall. rather, i was writing my poem while sitting in the mall. hence "revelation". "cumms" is just a little humor poking fun at sex, i guess... it seemed, err, almost appropriate given the subject matter. idk. just another way of saying "comes".
but i find it even more hilarious that we are going through cyclical relationships at the same time. crazy.
and i want the cycle to end.
Pap
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