i used to run barefoot
on the baked city sidewalk
all the summer long
and though i was a child
my feet were stronger then
calloused to black i could walk on coals like strange men from India
if ever i felt so inclined
but lo, as my feet grew larger
socks started staying on, shoes a daily straight jacket unnecessary
lest to the approval of society
and my parents who tied the laces to tight
while my feet got softer with every shade of white
anticipating summers of rejuvenation
that never came
and so they got sick
the colorful green leather and white rubber soles of my skate shoes
will be wearing through soon
and lest i just throw them away
my toes will be happy to stretch through the ends
i plan not to buy another pair.
Author notes
- to be read in collaboration with "the weather is warm for January"
this poem was written after the other during the same sitting
Comments
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Nice job
Hi,
I liked both these poems. The subject seems to come up often in my family....My attitude is, given that you have health insurance, if you slice up your foot or drop something heavy and crush your toe, you can always get stitched up, or get a prosthesis.....”then they’ll learn to wear foot protection”......except, I have gone barefoot, whenever possible, since I moved out of my mothers house.
Un fortunately there is a large gap at the end of both of these poems. Since I have a rotten memory, I can either look at the cheater box, for the aspects I am to critique, or I can look at your poem to remember the different aspects....
Moving on....Your poems are well written. Each gave just the right amount of imagery, to pull the subject off“I could walk on coals like strange men from India”
. The words are effortless to follow, and I found myself feeling the warm summer grass on my feet. I might question your use of the word “lest”
and lest I don't just throw them away
Or rather the negative right after it is unnecessary.
and lest I throw them away
Anyway very nice job....They were a pleasure to read........ttfn Laurel
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 4.
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"and if i don't just throw them away" ?
ah yes, i do believe you are correct about "lest" at the end. i'll have to do something about that.
these poems are not really my style, and not really that great either. but i don't care. i appreciate any enjoyment that may come from reminiscing about one's childhood. and besides, i like to question the status-quo.
thanx,
Pap
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Ah yes, a hobbit in hiding.
Feet weren't made for shoes, but neither was concrete made for feet. We're damned to conform, wear pants and communicate. Shoes are a mere formality of which you may dispense at your toe-stubbing peril. Me? gonna stick with the ol' toe protectors.
I enjoyed this flip diatribe on pedo-freedom.
al
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