How much melodrama and madness
can you push down your throat,
gentle girl?
How many times can you drop yourself
down in deep depression,
and still wear a face
of one who has been Saved?
How can you live through let downs
and smile through pain?
I ask these questions because
you remind me of me,
leaking with postponed-prose
on the weekends when you've,
had enough to drink.
You're ambiguous, lots of potential
but drowning,
Ahead of your own game
but drowning
in your waters and in my air.
You're lovely but I know
you're only acting.
And your doubts,
they are parasites that eat
and sleep nonsense;
they
rule
you.
I don't want them to.
Comments
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This one, Kristin, has a compassionate, concerned curiosity "in (its) waters and in (its) air" - apparently for a girlfriend of the poet's who's mirroring, sadly, the poet's own masked "ambiguous"ness. Nice work.
Its curiosity isn't condemnatory, only empathetic, and how the poet hopes that Andy's parasitic doubts don't rule. And the probing questions in the first three stanzas aren't cruel scolding, either; they image the poet's heart-connect with her subject.
Ultimately, I think the poem is a plea: get your postponed prose up to date, girl; stop acting, start being. That's kind, very kind, through the words of a knowing, experienced heart, as is the impulse behind this poem.
Very appealing read for me, my friend.
Lad -
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Thank you, Lad. I'm very pleased that, once again, you've managed to understand the angle I took.
I was very much pleading in this and trying to relate to her through my own flaws and short- comings that we just happen to share.
I guess once you've found something about yourself and lived the concept out by paying your dues and hopefully, not making the same mistake again, you don't want to see someone you love and care for fall down. It's a rude awawkening to have to look into your 'darker' self again, I think.
But I know, that like everything else, hardly anything is learned until one experiences for themselves. And as a friend, I might have to pick her up. I certainly don't mind doing so.
Again, thank you for the wonderful comment! Your perceptive outlook is amazing and much needed on a day like today.
Kristin
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A sympathetic, compassionate, contemplative poem, with sometimes harsh words, but only used to give effect, and not to condemn or berate. Stanza two captures the contradictions not only of Cancer (and Gemini), but of most people. But it does not seek to give answers; it is not as pretentious as that. It merely asks.
I also like the next stanza - 'leaking with postponed prose' - I think that this is something which most writers can relate to. That is, the block which is created when we procrastinate or suppress our feelings with superficial means ('...on the weekends when you've had enough to drink.) for too long, and the frustration which inevitably follows.
The central theme of this poem seems to be deception and contradiction. This is reinforced with stanza three and the repetition of 'but drowning', despite the good points. And the perceptive, simple statement that follows. I am reminded when I read this of the myriad doubts and insecurities which by nature niggle away at the sensitive heart of Cancer (it is a curse). The last stanza states this in very strong terms - '...parasites that eat and sleep nonsense; they rule you.'
And then you finish on a note of sympathy, simply and honestly put - which I suppose reflects the entire poem. Honest and simple, but powerful.
Well done.
Love,
Samwise
x.
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:)
Hello again. I'm glad to see you commented on this one as well.
How is it that you understand my reasoning for everything?
Ha, well you were right to think I aimed to point out the heart of a Cancerian. It may be a curse at times, but I've come to think that your heart does more good than harm.
Love you, darling of mine. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Kristin
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