peel back layers,
tan and onion skin,
reach under bone,
in my skull
and find the switch,
or maybe it's a lever.
no, must be a switch,
must be there
under my dark brown hair.
find the label
written on grey matter
in invisible ink -
it says I don't like you
anymore.
or the one next to it.
says - never liked you.
there's a button,
or maybe it's a switch,
no, it must be a button
that says - we can be
friends.
don't worry about stitching
me up again - I'm old hat
at this.
Author notes
Yeah, I know the rhyming is a little strange.
Any suggestions?
Comments
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Something's happened here, SS, technically and thematically, something pleasant to sense, for me at least. Some buried clarity has been peeled into, and with fairly open images. That "something" might be a burgeoning self-acceptance or self-awareness on the poet's part, as contrasted with all his other riddlic work that tried so brilliantly to hide his feelings, his sense of life's terrible ambiguities. I like the change. And even if my analysis is way off, I like the poem.
Three possible "switches" to complete a circuit. Well, three's better than none, or a hundred. The poet seems to be perceiving realities about love and friendship and relationship much more astutely than ever before; he's sharpening his options, down now to three, although he still seems to be allowing another person to make his choices, but that's understandable when it comes to matters of the heart, the confusion of it all, the pain of making and living by one's own choices, not another's. And I think the poet is quite aware of all that, with his "old hat" image. Nice.
Strong poem; its clarity is like a breath of spring air, even though the poem is about a winter of indecision. Really good poem for me to take in. It breathes with more open lungs.
Lad -
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Hm... burgeoning. Perhaps less of a new growth peeking and peaking out of the surface, but more of an active removal of dirt to reveal some ruthless root truth - something I've known but refused to recognize for whatever reason. Because you know what? I'm a little weary of masking and hiding - doesn't mean I'll stop, but this cloak is heavy of late. I'm tired of sitting so far out on the sidelines that I can barely even see the game.
The three switches are rated from easiest for me to handle to hardest - to stay friends with someone that's hurt me is difficult. Not impossible, but still hard. And sadly I begin to wonder whether I'm figuring out more about love and friendship or whether I'm just becoming hardened against it, muscles tense and ready to push back any advance, preemptively striking out. But this is my mindset of the moment, and you well know that I think one thing at one time and something completely different in a few seconds. But you also know that yes, I am pretty old hat at this by now.
Glad you liked it. Clearing away debris so plants can grow is a necessary end to Winter.
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This was an interesting read, an unconventional way of discussing the end of a relationship. I like how the switched are either " I don't like you anymore, I never liked you and we can be friends." How i wish things were simple as that. But then it never is a matter of switching it on and off.
The last stanza fit perfectly. This poem, i found can be read as sarcastic. But then I liked it. I suppose since this is a red onion and we are talking about feelings then this could only involve tears.
This was a nice take on the subject matter. Enjoyed the imagery.
-iphios -
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I wish things were that simple too... I tried to make it so that the sarcasm was shown through because I could never make those three decisions so I left it up to the other person. In the end, I was the only one really in the relationship, so since I had no say in that, I had no say in those three ending either. Glad you enjoyed it.
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