im taking your soul--
drag it down
to that eternal flame
that burns but never consumes
im coiling meters of copper wire
around your bullfrog neck
until it thins to a slender
ballerina's leg
until you turn purple--
in the way souls do
in the way you deserve to.
your arms i will sever 3/4s down,
just around the area
you wear your stupid watch
and make a pendant
out of your hand
to remind me of the happy end
i gave you 'round the time
you squeezed my heart out.
im taking your soul---
where your torments shall spin
in an eternity
that chops you into chunks
of useless meat
every moment you regenerate
and the pain, yes the lovely pain
will echo a thousand times more
along your undying spirit
mirroring every year
i endured you.
You shall bare this naked,
each welt, each scar
without your
porcelain skin of a mask
today and forever,
you shall be as ugly
as who you really are
as rotten as pus growing out
of your selfish existence.
You will be hades' pet
his toy to practice death with.
he will kill you a million times
through the light years ahead of you
and he will spare you not the agony
and i shall smile
sip tea and eat a piece of cake
as i watch my sweetest dream
come to life.
say what you think.
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Vitriolic
I wouldn't want to be in the room when you got angry!!!
With that much hate, it would be the victim who was consumed, not the perpetrator. If the protagonist is there watching the punishment; then they must be in Hell also.
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Haha. Well, i think my anger isn't as bad as the way i wrote this poem. The lines of where the victim and the perpetrator are a bit blurry here. But this was written with the image of pure hate, it's suppose to be sinister and dripping with anger. So, if that's how you got it, then this worked out well. thanks for your thoughts.
-iphios
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"Revenge is a dish best served cold" - I think that thought is Alexandre Dumas's, and it's usually right. In this poem, Iphios, I hear revenge served hot, and it has the same chilling effect. Neat free-write, a genre that I believe you've mastered.
This one exudes, from every porous image and line, the poet's retribution for someone who "squeezed (her) heart out". In that line, I hear the poet justifying her "eternal" destruction of the cad who hurt her. I'm glad that justification is in the poem, Iphios; it adds conflict to what might have been a self-absorbed hate-rant in lesser hands. The corpulent, bloody images of total war come off with proper and vivid rage in this one. I really like that outrage.
Beyond the poet's rage, I can also hear in the poem a kind of divine revenge in the myths of traditional Western religions: Gehenna, Hades, Hell, Eternal Torment, all that stuff. So, for me, the poem has the added delight of of a kind of biblical abomination against a major perp. I can hear Jonathan Edwards' "Sinner in the Hands of an Angry God" revved up to modern images.
Strong and gutsy, Iphios. Full of piss and vinegar. And nicely formatted all the way.
Lad. Rewarded 8
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Hey Lad,
I felt strong and gutsy when i wrote this. I think the beauty about capturing anger is that it allows the poet to feel the power and yet, after fleshing it all out, i have not the strength nor the guts to go beyond writing about it.
The inclusion of reason to why such a revenge was wanted was intentional since i wanted it to be clear that this was revenge, not just some rant. And the biblical abomination cannot be helped as i was raised catholic and well every time i write about such things dante's inferno influences me; as well as greek myth's hades.
Its good to know that this was full of piss and vinegar...that's how i wanted it to be. Thanks for picking up on the nuances as usual. take care.
-iphios
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Crazy stuff man. I can really feel and vision your anger and all of these things happening to some of the people that have hurt me in my life, Amazing job! I've been angry and hurt before, but I've never turned to a piece of paper for comfort, it was always drug or drink. After reading this I now believe running away with my pad and pen would be alot more helpful, and creative. I think this is a very good free write, flows better than most, something I havent tried or accomplished yet. Will keep looking for your postings.
MM
. Rewarded 8
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hey there,
well, i have a sick imagination sometimes and it goes very visual, as evident in this poem. I went through stages with my anger and how i deal with it, but writing about it gave me more pleasure. I suppose its the fact that i can envision it and well get a bit of consolation from it. I'm glad that this made you look into an alternative into dealing with anger. The least i can do. I free write a lot. Most of my poems are free writes, the less control i put into my poetry the better they seem. Hey marcus, will look forward to your comments as well. see you around.
thanks for the read and thoughts.
-iphios
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Gagiikwe
January 25, 2008