In the night a fawn
learns the touch of wonderment,
snow has fallen soft
Racoon climbs down from
oak tree den foraging for
food to feed her kits
Mayfly hatchlings hover
over water trout rising
feasting for the day
Corn field ripening
fawn at lower fence stares at
unknown two-legged animal
Carp dying on beach
last of its species lake’s loss
speedboat joyride kills
Rattler lurking poised
amid the roots to strike at
inquisitive mouse
Human predators below
Possum in its leafy tree
seeking safety hides
Horse ears held back
apprehensive as snake moves
seeking morning sun
These thoughts just a clutch
of rough words upon a page
Haiku Masquerade
James Gagiikwe © 2008
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Author notes
first attempt at 5-7-5 form
Comments
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I liked it alot, I like how you describe a bunch of scenario's, from what I understand is a time of season, but of course I could be terrible off. I would think it's spring. The only thing I didnt understand was if you were going for the 5-7-5 format throughout the entire poem b/c there seemed to be mixed or rearranged haiku forms, switching the form to 7-7-5, or vice versa, Don't know if it was intentional, but either way works, But I think switching up the form makes it even more unique, So if it was me I would definately keep them, unless that's not what you were going for of course, Enjoyed the read alot, love the outdoors and from what i read so do you. It was a pleasure, hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL
MM
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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