In the forefront
of the onslaught
when the Janjaweed attacked,
there she was,
clothed in black,
astride her camel,
screaming at God,
begging
for more bullets.
Later,
I moved so close
to watch a moving mouth deny
what the world already knows;
I tried to look inside it,
had to see if
flapping Satan's tongue
was made
of spongy rubber.
His desert agents
live on rape,
creatively compete to pile
dismembered herds
of living humans,
and carve artistic autographs
of blood
on black-stretched canvasses.
Fortunately, genocide
is not so ugly
when it involves strangers,
when we watch it
long enough,
and when it's left
to be discussed
by journalists
and politicians.
If just two hundred thousand more
could die,
maybe we could see another
tearful TV special,
get to mourn with Monday friends
at our favorite Starbucks,
and maybe even
find excuse
to pray somewhere
for peace.
But for now,
another shares
her thoughtful recollections,
remembering the home she left:
"...and they gouged out my neighbor's eyes
and squashed them in the sand,
then placed them in his
shrieking hands
to keep
as souvenirs."
Copyright 2007 Gary Brown
Your thoughts are appreciated regarding the three works currently offered here which are excerpts from a volume entitled, "The Heart of War" posted online at: http://theheartofwar.blogspot.com/
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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HorrorWar
Just read your three war poems gdb. They all convey to my eyes the horrors of war particularly those atrocities perpetrated upon the civilian populace, in a highly proficient manner. I almost feel guilty enjoying this trio of tragedy as much as I did.
I believe the effective impact of these was enhanced by your focusing on a particular geographic location/conflict. Compositionwise you can then ofcourse adjudicate your metaphors accordingly. Sandsculptures accomplishes this very well burning a swathe of awfulness into the readers addled cerebellum with much aplomb. The final image sears the iris.
I guess the in-your-face directness and shock value (I do not think you overdo this in any way!) is important to retain listeners´ attention.
I shall be doing a spot of recitation at my first poetry reading this Thursday (an informal open-mike affair) and I suspect I should avoid too much heavy-laden verse and homophony and keep things direct.
I will certainly be checking out The Heart of War site.
The Darfur debacle is all the more horrendous as it is continuing with no signs of the disgusting Janjaweed and other government-sponsored murderers abating.
Real horror is far more terrible than anything we can imagine. Please excuse the rather spontaneous comment - I shall be returning for further views.
Cheers
gG
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gG - Thank You
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. This is a problematic issue to deal with, without becoming trite, predictable, political or repetitious of others' writings. I hope to present a more unique focus upon the source and specific effects of war as it is birthed in people, one by one, or requires their involvement. At the "Heart of War" web page, there is a link to a sister site: "The Heart of War Quotations", which you might find interesting, if not insightful.
Thank you again for taking the time to both read and offer your comments.
gdb
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Gary,
Initially I was put off by the shortness of the lines which resulted in a visually long (tiring for the eyes) piece. I know you "write for the ear, not the eye" as you say, but as readers we do see your piece before we hear it. After I got over that initial reaction, I found myself getting hooked by your words. You are tiptoeing
. Rewarded 6
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Dark Poem that flows
Very edgy poem. It is written well.
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The janjaweed is a tough subject to tackle, saying the least. What compelled you to turn your gaze to them?
Years ago, I was told to write poems that scare the @%$& out of me. I can't imagine this subject matter doing any less to you.
Yes you are correct, we are oblivious to the concerns of strangers these days. I always wondered why. Do we have too many of our own concerns? Maybe that's another poem.
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gnosisonG
February 12, 2008