It entered like a virus
cracking the thin ice with malice
but slipping every other step
on the solid frozen snow.
And while I slept
I felt it watching
lurking creeping jerking mounting
obscene in its respectful distance
in the corner.
Though I thought I had shucked it
it became the ruts in the road
that bucked my car
and the invisible force
that flooded my hands
and misguided the wheel.
It came closer to me,
the clock hand moving inexorably
counter-clockwise
to challenge my brittle sanity.
It became the broken digital bulb
that read 7:37
instead of 7:32
and when the time changed
to 7:33 and not 7:38
it was the hand that pulled
the hair from my head.
In these fractious winter months
it is the sleety blue skies
that umbrella and suffocate me
but come May it will fly away
like a murder of crows from a wire
and I'll be left with shame on my head
for people to see
from my own part
in such a tawdry affair.
Does this work?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Yeah Nienna
Works if you´re bipolar with a prediliction for the winter blues which seem to enhance our vulnerability to the fickle tides of time which linger in the periphery of budding adulthood. One of my most fervent regrets (in times of mental torpor and spiritual stupour) is breaking thru the ice-reflection of childhood staring back at me. Before I realized it I was all-grown up with a desperate child inside. Five minutes between now and forever. Cool write, Nienna. Wish I was as poetic as you are when I dreamt I was young. Focus Focus Focus on the image eternally blurred.
Love and regards
gG
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Hey, gG, thanks for the review. It's definitely pertinent in a way that I'm mourning some of the others are not. I made the mistake of asking if anyone could tell me what "it" is, and that definitely detracted fromt the poem itself. You've come to closest to its essence (what "it" is) and therefore I am pleased. I love your "five minutes between now and forever;" how true is that? I will continue trying to decipher that blurry confounded image. We'll see what happens, I guess.
Returning your love and regards warmly,
Nenni
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not a clock. the flu perhaps?
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is it a clock?
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No, not exactly
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cabin fever
from cold winter month isolation in NM
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Nope
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Well Nienna I don't think I know, You got me stumped. But if I were to guess I would say that it is some kind of bird that has migrated south for the winter, perhaps a goose. But while reading I never even thought about it, your words were put together so beautifully I didn't really even stop to think about what you were talking about, I was just caught up in the flow and beauty, but if it isnt a goose my second guess would be a spirit of something or somebody that has come to pay a visit? lol but like I said I dont have any idea, All in All a beautiful write. Congrats on making everybody confused, yet they still enjoy it. Very Nice! Hope to hear from ya soon, nice picture BTW
TTYL
MM
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 3, tone: 4, form: 4.
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I wish I could say I could tell you what it is lol, but I cant...I enjoyed your words so much, they flowed so very well but I enjoyed less when reading the question and having to answer, and I couldnt...
Sorry I dont know but it doesnt take away form the enjoyment and being captivated by your words D
Cindy
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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