1.
Prideless, they tore railroad men’s brown breasts
lurking the thirsty Kenyan banks.
Red moonlight sluiced from brambles and linen skins
Pressing upon tawny flesh, igniting fire of feline eye.
Imperious, they patrolled the union jack encampment
lingering in shadows of long labour’s dreamless sleep
until the smoldering campfire of morning
when one-hundred hammers lean in one-hundred corners.
2.
Maneaters in glass houses can’t throw stony glances—
the power to haunt having run off with the ghost.
Now they reign over the acrylic African plain
sneering—not out of regal disdain, but mild discomfort
from dust mites nitpicking at tautly taxidermed pelt.
Rebel eyes that halted an empire now cast
Dull marble stares at the fossils in the floor
and derailed trains of distracted school children
linked hand in hand near a robot called Mold-A-Rama
spewing magma into plastic tyrannosaurs.
Reviews
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I thought this was terrific.
I'd read your work before and hadn't really been moved upon to comment as I'd read nothing that reached to touch something familiar in me, it had always seemed obscure due the context of your writing and my inability to relate to your subject choices. But this...immediately there came to my mind the Movie "The Ghost and the Darkness" which was an awesome flick and to this day I am awed by the power of these beasts. The descriptions were excellent, the irony was spot-on and no words were wasted in this succinct illustration of man as the most fearsome beast, yet not nearly as majestic as the natural king of beasts. We destroy the beauty of the natural world and try to own what cannot be owned. The true power and beauty of something such as a lion lies in its own indomitable soul, something forever lost at death. That's something that can never be owned, a fact illuminated beautifully by this work.
You speak of terror in the first stanza, but I see it as admiration for such a fierce force. Could you bottle the spirit of a lion it would be a possession indeed. This was excellent.
al
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This poem about monstrous beasts is brilliant, Kevin - how they make bloodied flesh out of railroad workers, but in another place are reduced to "taxidermed fur." The monsters become dolls, their "tawny flesh and fiery feline eye"..."moulds" (great word choice over "molds") in plastic, harmless figures.
I've often thought about the awesome and beautiful "monstrous" in the world - like Blake's "Tyger, tyger burning bright..." And your poem here updates that fearsomeness with rich details, like those "one hundred hammers" and "dust-mites" and so many others.
For me, this poem is carefully and very poetically conceived and executed, Kevin. It has a deep, dark, fundamental danger in it, which is then mellowed down in museums for so-called civilized enjoyment. Strong contrast there, cleanly done.
Excellent work.
Lad -
Rip-roaring yarn!
I´ve dug these historically accurate psycho-killer man-eaters for ages now, dearchicago, and I am bound to be postively biased as hell in favour of a poet who writes about this ghastly case. What I enjoyed even more was your split between the actual occurance and the Chicago museums depiction of the stuffed slaughterer alighting their exibit podium.
I must admit I was so psyched on the story that when I saw in a book of the topic, a photo of the scraggy, moth-eaten remains of one of the lionine brothers (the Ghost or the Darkness) I pissed my nether regions and dropped the f.cking tome in sheer fright!
Whew!
I mean, they killed hundreds and halted the expansion of the British Empire (imperialist bastards!) for 3 to 4 monthes at least!! Two animals!!!!
Working as a Waldorf School teacher I utilised this storyline to expound upon my worthy students a deeper level (I fool myself to believe) of primal Africa.
But since your are on critical poetry, here are my humble pointers:
Line 2: Must mean "mien" right? Appearence, not "mein kampf".
Line 3-5: nice, but screw "&" put "and". Good "f" sequence at the end.
Intriguing blend of labour "one-hundred hammers..." and approaching murder "one-hundred haunted corners".
Of course it helps to know the storyline.
Line 13: neat rhyme: "reign" - "plain". Subtle - works well.
Line 15: split it, make line 16:
"on tightly taxidermed pelt."
Last stanza: yeah, history dulls horror, especially if the story isn´t told to the young - it becomes irrelevent.
Unless told in convincing tones.
Which your poem, dearchicago, in my opinon, bountifully does!
Cheers
gGrowl
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G-
Thanks for the comments. After reading them I better realise why I wrote the poem. I think there was a definite anti-imperialist thought behind this. I also think that the fact that I'm a teacher might have informed this poem. I've rewritten it based on your suggestions as well as some of these insights.
Thanks. K
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Excellent Rewrite!
Worth another comment, dearchicago. (Won´t take points).
Just like to highlight the parts I really liked in no particular order:
"..acrylic African plain" Did you add "disdain" to the next line or did I miss that last time? BTW would "regal" sound better than "kingly" ?
"the power to haunt having run off with the ghost."
"the snarling machine"
"lurking along the thirsty Kenyan banks."
"linen skins"
And of course
"dust mites nitpicking at tautly taxidemed pelt"
Oh and to continue my own nitpicking, you use "snarling" twice. Maybe "growling" or some other synonym could replace the first one?
And maybe "can´t" to "cannot" to formalise the wordage?
Missed an "r" in "taxidermed" ?
Cheers
gG -
hey DC
the first time I read this I went into the reading thinking that I was going to read something about Man Eating women. But then that didn't make sense not too far into the poem. Now that I see what it's truly about I'd have to say the same with Al, it reminds me of "The Ghost and the Darkness". A great film that sort of distorts the documented African tiger attacks that had occured there many many years ago. You describe these beasts so ferociously in the first half when they are the conquerers. Then you show them weak, in the zoo's almost. How we have conquered them, decreased them down to children's toys and something to look at through glass or a large pasture of seperation. A good crisp contrast between the two worlds, funny how things change when you change environments. Home field advantage does matter I guess. A very good write.
. Rewarded 8
Dun
February 16, 2008
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