Here I am
on the edge
of the boat on seas of hopelessness.
Can you see,
how I fade
towards the light
or did you think I was okay?
I'm not ready for this mess,
time and pity do nothing less.
All I want is to
be more than this.
Still I keep falling down, down, down
to where the world can't see my tears.
Everything is fine,
stop asking here.
I'm just waiting for something more
to make my life alright to live.
And you know
that it's getting hard to breathe.
Every word is forced to leave me.
But I pray everything will be okay
'cause I know it's wrong to die this way.
Tell me now,
do you see this pain I feel?
Shedding blood while I weep
to seem so real.
And you know
that it's getting hard to breathe
as I force this hate to leave me.
Still I keep falling down, down, down
to where the world can't see my tears.
Everything is fine,
stop asking here.
I'm just waiting for something more
to make my life alright to live.
Reviews
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I'm so sorry that you feel this bad. I hope everything turns out okay. I liked the free verse form of this poem and the occasional rhymes mess/less/this.
What form are you going for in this piece?
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haha i used to write poetry during classes as well when i was in school, boring lessons inspired me!
i think this is a great write, very descriptive and i bet it's capturing only a fraction of how you felt at that time, since no matter how hard we try we cant ever completely put our feelings into words huh. i hope you're experiencing better times now, and that you keep on writing!
xx
LW
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I love this poem. The power of repetition is perfectly shown by the way you phrased:
"Still I keep falling down, down, down
to where the world can't see my tears"
The depth and sincerity of this piece was captivating.
Great write!
ladyjanew
February 16, 2008
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