I will draw you to nothing
where my fingers ends and
yours begin
fading into
an artist's self portrait.
You be me
and I be you.
Our reflection beheld
on our dilated pupils
where light flickers
across the dark rooms of us,
and the lit corridors
of them
become a mechanical sound
of absent meaning.
Our skin displaced as
we press on into each other's
spiraling muscles and webbing veins
our arteries let life ebb
to yours then mine.
I draw breath and
your lungs expand
and I become your universe
of safety and comfort
while you be the milky way
of my fears and anxiety.
And as the sound of everything
disperses into a memory
long forgotten
we dance into the melding
wax of our bodies until
you part me and they
sever our ties of
umbilical temporal
and we stand separate--
me the artist and you,
my reflection and more.
say what you think.
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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It is a strong free write for sure. I can see these things happening as I read along. I really like the 1st to last verse, "while you be the milk way of my fear and anziety." Powerful stuff you have here.
Nicely done,
Ashley
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Hi Ashley,
Its was good to hear from you and your comments were uplifting. I'm glad you found this powerful. I haven't been around the site much and i am barely making sense out of words, but the recent poems are but free writes---words forming themselves as i wrote one line after the next.
thanks.
-iphios
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This probingly contemplative poem, Iphios, is one of your most complex for me. And, for that reason alone, I like it very much. But I'll need more time to take it all in. I'll be back on this one, thinking about it. (I'll opt out of points for now.) Later, with many more thoughts,
Lad -
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I shall wait for your thoughts Lad and trust you will figure it out. I've been away from poetry for some time and from that leave i came back with two poems of which are free writes. I would like to know how it worked.
-iphios
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Brilliant result of a free write
Powerful imagery & metaphors.
Perfect wording to me, flowing well
I enjoyed the read
Cindy
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Cindy. Its reassuring. My long absence had made me feel I was in poetic limbo for ages. Glad this worked for you.
-iphios
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Hi, Iphios. I love the tenderness and passion in this piece. This overall idea of reminded me strongly of some lines from Pablo Neruda, "so close that your hand on my chest is my hand . . ."
Every line blew me away, but I think my favorite image is "sever our ties of/umbilical temporal. . ." Beautiful and metaphysical, quintessentially Iphios.
Cheers,
Pie
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Hi Pie. Its good to hear from you again. Wow, to be reminded by Neruda...that left me speechless. It was reassuring to hear that this worked for you and that the line umbilical temporal became a favorite. Thanks again for the read.
-iphios
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Hi, Iphios. In this one, as I sense it, you had FREE thoughts, going deep and blending your materials at hand the way a painter keeps at it. In this poem, though, the strokes are after what is nearly - no - I'll say utterly impossible to portray: that infinitesimal connectedness between one person(a) and another.
And when the artist is done, she's gone through numberless mirrors to reach that place of other- and self-discovery which is, as the infinite is, everything and "nothing." "separate" and fully one at the same time. The conception (even as a free write, I believe it came up from attentive consciousness) and execution of this poem are together one of your most ephemeral writes, and one of your very best for me to fade into.
The artist's probing goes all the way from immediate sight, reflected in both sets of eyes, and through to an end which still can't quite capture a mysterious other: from where "light flickers" and on through to "where my fingers ends..." - that plural noun with a singular verb is magnificent, as though the whole of the poet-painter is only a singular being after all, trying to make sense of connectedness which has no explanation - like a fine work of art having no "meaning" other than itself.
I think this journey into the known unknown must be published; it's, for me, one of the purest intuitions of ungraspable connectedness I've ever seen. Exceptional.
Your admirer,
Lad. Rewarded 8
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Lad,
Thanks for coming back with your interpretation and thoughts on this poem. I think i will always like to write freewrite. In that zone i speak like i never do, i write like i never do and the product reflect a part of me that i sometimes ignore. You pick up perfectly on the poem. I suppose the invisible thread that connects this poem to my other poems is visible to you. As you could see, this reflects a journey of self and the other self; an attempt to grasp what i cannot. It 's my attempt to capture and integrate the self and all its aspects. I am flattered that you consider this worth publishing. I do hope to reach that point soon. Thanks Lad as expressed before, your thoughts are valued.
-iphios
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Hi Caliente,
I'm glad you liked this and that you found some ideas interesting. Most often my free writes, initially don't have a topic. But this reflects self discovery, assimilation, and journey. Its a bit hard to explain, but its almost the integration of the self in its wholeness. I hope i explained that well. In case you didn't, i suggest you read the comment below by Lad. I have written a series of poems that share the same topic. Thanks again for the read. I appreciate it.
-iphios
skipeople
February 17, 2008