Sunlight waves framing thy classic face
Stunning member of the English race
Angelic voice like a concerto violin
hints at the beauty that dwells within.
Slender, blonde, athletic and tall,
you forever hold me in thy thrall.
Your large, luminous azure eyes
Will this lowly poet forever romaticize.
Cupid lips, strong chin,
Beautiful Englishman so tall and thin.
A smile like a thousand beaming suns,
A long resume of acting well done.
Your beauty does this poet glorify,
You, the object of many a love-struck sigh.
|
What do I need to improve? Imagery? Rhyming scheme? How can I make this more "poetic?"
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Hey!
A powerful poem with many witty metaphors glorifying your “idle”. Well written and a good read
Bill
-
-
Thank you! I wanted to write a love poem dedicated to my favorite obscure British actor since I was writing a lot of agnsty poems at the time. I thought a good, soppy love poem would bring me out of my doldrums. Thank you for your wonderful comments.
-
-
This was terrific.
This was humorously gushy in self-effacing, love-from-afar fashion, just right for celebrity love. I just cringe when I read celebrity love poems that are actually serious with dangerously stalker undertones present. This was just right.
You have a good sense of balance when addressing your subjects. You know the line to walk where the majority of readers will still take you seriously, yet you still find time to catch that stroke of the ridiculous and play it well to the place in all of us that knows it well. We all have daydreams, and we all know to interject reality into such. But wait...now you'll tell me you keep a lock of James Wilby's hair under your pillow at night and a mirror with his silk-screened image stuck on the ceiling above your bed...
Good stuff.
al
p.s. oh, and by the way? Everything was impeccable and again with lovely rhyme.
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
-
-
Thank you!
You are too kind! I have a thing for tall, blonde, slender, posh English guys. It was either him, or David Bowie. What can I say? I'm a big fag hag! -
-
David Bowie
is one kick-ass homo. I like his music. It's quite good and he is an brilliant artist. So what if he's gay.
I guess the question is...
"What do you have to offer?"
Hmmmm...straight mediocrity or excellence immaterial of sexual orientation? I'll take the queer over the crap anyday.
Always a pleasure, you big fag-hag, you...
al
-
-
Thank you!
LOL!!! No, I don't sleep with a lock of JW's hair under my pillow - I'm not that crazy, yet! I know he's just a obscure actor, but I love his work anyway. I know that in reality I will never get a guy who looks like him. I was in an Oscar Wilde-ish mood, and damned if JW doesn't look like Boise! -
-
Yes you do...
but I understand...you can't reveal such things. It's all right.
And who are you to say you can't get ol' JW? Go out an do what you gotta do to get that feathery flaxen haired man-waif. Go get 'im!!!
your extra-specially good friend that you've known for a week,
al
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
