Oh Poppy
(Sung to the tune of Barry Manilow’s Mandy)
I regret with all my life
And the pain cuts like a knife
I ever befriended you
What was I thinking?
Trying to make you smart
But nothing was working
I remember high school days
Boys insulted you in so many ways.
Mocking your bulging eyes
I laugh at the memory
Your brain was paralyzed
You tried to copy me
Oh, Poppy
You never gave but you kept on taking
Until I sent you away
Oh, Poppy
So full of tears, so full of baloney
And you acted so gay
Oh Poppy
Living in a fantasy land
Screwing every member of Duran Duran
I told you stories before
The hilarity never ends
I tried to make up for
Your complete lack of friends
Oh Poppy
You never gave but kept on taking
Until I sent you away
Oh, Poppy
Your bulging eyes
Have bags under them
They never went away
Oh, Poppy
Caught up in a world of social climbing,
Oh, Poppy
The way your eyes bug out,
Your flatulence problem
Oh, Poppy
When you bought a copy of Michael Jackson’s Thrilla,
The music store clerk said you looked like Godzilla
Oh, Poppy
You saw it coming and yelled, “Oh, Fuck!”
Then Larry, Curly and Moe ran you over with a garbage truck.
Oh, Poppy
Well, guys came and you swallowed without gagging,
But they sent you away,
Oh, Poppy
Because your diseased scalp was flaking
So screw yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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Author notes
A song parody I wrote to make myself feel better about a breakup. And the sad thing is, she really looked like this picture!
What do I need to improve? Imagery? Rhyming scheme? How can I make this more "poetic?"
Comments
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DAMMITT!!!!
Your lesbianism has really put the kibosh on my plans to seduce you. This is really gonna make it difficult, but I am a persistent man...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....
So hey...I thought this was raging with vitriol and unseemly hatred, which often is quite true of a break-up, but we hide it and feign our identity as perfectly calm and rational people instead of lashing out at everything we might possibly be able to despise. But you didn't, and I like that even if does accentuate the negative and eliminate the positive. Personally, I'm not a big fan of works that spread the gospel of hatred. But when it's in cathartic form it's okely-dokely with me. So you're pissed, I get that. Personally, I take those dark feelings and try to hide them so that I can maintain my painstakingly manicured guise of consideration and caring, but I think it's important to get it out. And you did. And to that I say, "There, there. You'll find another loose, bug-eyed gonzo-schnozzed woman real soon, I'm sure."
Keep your chin up and eyes open.
al
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