In a way
We’re largely water
Carbon molecules
Racing outwards from that crucial origin
Governed by the laws that we teach our children
Not the laws we expect them to tolerate
But the laws we all have no choice but to tolerate
You think your influence over subatomic particles is greater than that of Faraday’s
Or Maxwell’s
Or Davis’s
Or Gauss’s
You think you can decide how these particles interact
Go ahead
Show me
I’ve never witnessed a raindrop gracefully falling up
I have never seen a man walk on water
But then again
I’ve never seen you
And i'm sure you'll insist that you're real
Reviews
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Hi, Matt. I just now happened to see you name online, so I thought I'd pay a visit. I'm glad I did.
"Humility" is, as I see it, the perfect title for this meditation on the inevitability of nature's laws, laws that children are taught "to tolerate" as the poem says, but really laws that cannot NOT be tolerated because they are relentless. So, for me, the poem is both a subtle and strong pondering at the ultimate frailty of human will, and a musing on the power of our destinies.
What works so well in the poem is the skillful blend of philosophy with earthly details: the naming of the great physicists and the very poetic use of a raindrop and walking on water. And then comes that marvelously wry conclusion - the poet willing to meet "you", but knowing full well that "your" defiant sense of yourself is but a fake, not "real", and that "you" are subject to the same laws as everyone.
There's an honest look at reality in this poem, Matt, about how subject we all are to the forces of the universe beyond all our objections to the contrary. I may not agree completely with its premise, but I mostly do, and it's hard to give up our notions of free will when the evidence says otherwise.
This poem is, in my opinion, a refreshingly honest look at life, and at the humble acceptance we need to take in to ourselves. Nice work!
Later...
Lad -
A very humbling read. I enjoyed the perspective you took. Man has always thought of himself greater. I think its the idea that in the animal kingdom we are the most logical creatures that makes us feel so great. Yet, as pointed out here, we cannot reverse nature. We cannot change the molecules that forms this world. We may attempt to manipulate it, but we can never truly alter carbon. The use of science and philosophy caught my eye. I enjoy such poems , the mixture of science, philosophy and poetry can never be boring in my book.
At surface level this seem to be an uneven poem, but reading it you have successfully made the transitions from one line to another smoothly.
I especially liked these lines:
"Governed by the laws that we teach our children
Not the laws we expect them to tolerate
But the laws we all have no choice but to tolerate"
There is power in this and truth. There is no explanation, but i think that rather candid presentation gave it the strength. Simplicity and matter of fact tone always creates impact. Lovely Poem, Matt66. Would definitely await for your other poems.
-iphios -
Very nicely done
Seen the movie and can definately see the references, A very trippy movie. Definately a movie you have to lock yourself in the bedroom to and not allow any distractions. Doesn't hurt to go in with a very very open mind. LoL you have to or else you'll either be disappointed or confused. So it's good to see that you were inspired by another form of art. I was just told what the formal term for that was in a critique I was givin but cannot remember the name...All in all a good write and one I enjoyed even more for seeing and being a fan of the movie.
TTYL
MM
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Yeh what a film! You seen 'Slackers' by Linklater? and also 'A Scanner Darkly'.
Formal term for what? Being inspired by another art form?
Cheers -
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yea
I can't remember the name, ekphraysia or something crazy like that, I know that's not it. But yea I've seen Slackers but have not yet seen Scanner Darkly, I'd like to alot, that's the one with keanu, wynona ryder, woody harrelson and Roberd Downey right?
MM OUT! -
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yeh itthats the one. is a very good film, strongly recomend it. All briliant performances as well, Downey's stands out though.
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Lad
March 13, 2008
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