opinion

Sickness is ravaging our school like bees on honey. I have fallen just as ill as everyone else and it really puts things in perspective. For instance, this sinus infection has become a slight ear infection and that makes me want to drill a screw into my cheekbone while simultaneously piercing my eyeballs.
But, nooooo, dying isn’t an option because I have to write a research paper comparing the classical piece The Canterbury Tales to Degrassi: The Next Generation. The sad part is that I’m not kidding. I have been in school – which is probably why this stupid ear crap won’t go away.
Seriously, ear infections are the worst pain in the world. I’d rather be catapulted into a burning classroom infested with sharks that just made Mrs. Lawless angry. I think that as a class we should try as a whole to fight the sickness.
Perhaps, to fight the sickness, people should stop sharing food and things they often smear their germ ridden palms all over. Can’t you just imagine the family of four germs that are living on your cell phone? “Well, Germy just took a double shift at the Giving-People-Tuberculosis-Factory, so, I think we can afford a bigger house inside that human freshman.”
They feed on the young, because they are weak. So, avoid freshmen at all cost, because they are likely carrying all forms of Hepatitis and probably some Polio. In the end, this article teaches you nothing about keeping healthy in times of sickness, so, I guess I’ll add that don’t drink water. It’s totally bad for you.