"Fireflies?" you asked
"Firelies!" I replied
then meanings overflow
these few words spoken
and we know
each night
is a brand new story -
their light
our love
and everything in between.
Thought I still haven't seen
how the pieces really fit -
with my mouth full
you still bring out my laughter.
And isn't there a rule,
don't drive and hold hands?
But you always do.
Can you make me understand
how the miles get lost
and the hours roll by
when you and I
fly
away like this?
How did we even
end up here
illuminated by fireflies
under these seemingly million shooting stars
flying and diving
up above colliding?
Together we witnessed
their dance of love.
Or
was it ours
they were watching?
Finally seeing
how easily we mirrored
their light.
But tonight
so suddenly they are dimming
like a reflection of what they see -
the fire in me
fading
somewhere beneath
the cloudy skies of rain
or was it just
my heavy heart of tears
I fear they know
I can not glow
without you.
I always did
even in daytime.
pouring my heart out, does it convey at all?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Its been a while lynne since i last read a poem of your. Its true, i do remember a similar theme in your other poems, nonetheless you have retained the soft nostalgia that is uniquely yours.
Yes, you convey a heart that glows no more. I like the idea that its the fireflies watching you...and interesting perspective that is. And like fireflies, your glow has its end...
And if im not mistaken, when a firefly loses its glow, it nears death...im not sure. But if that is so, then your analogy to the firefly is grave. I liked how the pieces fit, and how the emotional chaos is blended with memories. Yes, i think memories are both gifts and curses.
-iphios -
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hi iphios
thanks for reviewing this poem. It was probably one of the most difficult poems I had to write, because I had to deal with some "ghosts" of my life,plus, my emotional chaos was too evident, that I did not know how to end it. One day, I was happy and tried to write some parts of it, then other days I was sad, then the mood changes so suddenly.
In one way, these are really about fireflies. I had this wonderful opportunity to get up close to them, even touch them. But, I just cant help relating it to happenings in my life lately. Hence, this poem.
Thanks again. I'm glad to hear from you.
Lynne
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very touching.
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the title hooked me.
i have always loved fireflies since i was small, and i used to catch a few and place them in a glass so i can see them glow...when morning comes, when their glow is no more, i release them into the skies...
so, when i saw your title, i just had to read your poem and i'm mighty glad i did...your poem is very touching, it brought a tear to my eye...you might say i'm corny, but i'm really just an emotional soul, who cries at small things that touch the heart...this poem of yours is very soulful and beautiful...and while i am sorry that you had to go through such a hard time, i can really appreciate your thoughts and emotions that you poured into this poem.
thanks for sharing.
. Rewarded 8
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Wow!
Hey Little One - this is excellent! If I didn't know better I'd say you actually listened to some of the stuff we used to argue about- stubbornthoughts!
It moves right along. I like how and where you've put the line breaks but most of all I like how subtle the rhymes are, Hopkinesque internals, and, even better, the lovely poetic ping-pong you play with the fireflies watching/being watched as you/they glow and then ... fade. Awwwww. Really, really good. One of your best. And you say it was difficult to write? You're 'in touch' with your muse, little One!
Of course I wouldn't be me if I didn't meddle and I have one tiny edit to suggest. In this stanza there is a crescendo of rhyme building to a poetic point. Humour me and move one word , thus ....
Can you make me understand
how the miles get lost
and the hours roll by
when you and I
fly
away like this?
Lovely to see you back, Strayingthoughts! Hugs >W<
. Rewarded 8
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hey you are late! but ok, you win....
thanks for this and more. this poem is pretty special to me and you just made it a lot more precious. you do know my page won't be complete without the bird hovering up there. really glad you liked this.Thanks.
hugs, lynne
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it was pretty good, i personally liked the fact that it was so romantic
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Just flying by to tell you I Love this poem
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hey...
i wish i had your name, LOL. I love fireflies so much, they are so magical to me. Especially that i share them with a super duper special person.
So thanks for this visit and comment.
Lynne
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excellent.
This is so sensuous and it looks like something out of a dream.True love is eternal and it cannot erase memories of good times spent effortlessly together.I can feel the intense pain of the poet .It is so reflective and sweet.
. Rewarded 4
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Lynne - This has a great drive and rhythm/flow to it and it is a very compelling read. The letdown and change from exuberance to loss at the end is palpable, very clear. I have only one suggestion: in the 4th stanza changing one line around - from "up above colliding" to "colliding up above" you haven't lost a rhyme but picked one up with "love" 2 lines further on. As is, the first time I read it, the line seemed to interrupt the flow. Fine poem, cheers, MJ
. Rewarded 8
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I loved this for the many many reasons other people have commented on below
I'd just like to say I'd keep the order of "up above colliding" in the 4th stanza however; I think that because it follows "diving" directly on the next line it emphasises the exuberance and life of that part of the poem. Anyway don't know if that explanation made sense - but again, loved it!. Rewarded 6
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spectacular!
Firstly, this made me regret living in the sort of desert climate that is not favored by fire flies, but regardless, i found your work to be extremely relatable. the glow you express to emmit due to your other is exactly the sensation i feel as well as the unbound time, the sense of timelessness really. i think it applies to any time of love, including lost love. i appologize for my lack of analysis, but all i can say is wonderful, wonderful! thank you for this read!
-Ria
iphios
March 19, 2008