Subway spewed us.
Gorged again on 4,000,000 others.
Past behind under: the
beast; waxen fatted it stretched
it steamed. Departed snorting.
Wan face found sun;
steps ascended steeply
feet following found firm ground;
around sounds floated,
carnivaline in their meandering:
--I-I lo-ove yo-u
Jesus Kr-i-i-iiiiiiist!
pluck pluck PLINK pluck pluck pluck plink.
JE-sus Christ I lo-ove you
Ye-e-es I do...
pluck pluck PLINK pluck pluck pluck plink.
pluck pluck PLINK pluck pluck pluck plink.--
"You hear it?"
fumble mouth mumbled
caught on wire in air fraught with
hurdy gurdy slivers of silk.
Following pizzed notes
left the beast behind
for the grumbling growling city.
Far off from the hill, pinched
in, streets straight didn't wander;
still, windows glittered pretty, red blue purple
"TELL YOUR FORTUNE, GIRLY, BUY A JEWELLED BOTTLE"
Still still still
sound pressed pushed reverberated
boucing building by building.
Tented in (blue ceilinged)
lenses refracted, came still again
music rowdier howling insurrected:
--Up and o-over we go
through the wave and undertow
I will float until
I learn how to swim--
buffeted down cobblestoned streams,
beast rumbled down down down below
trapezed--the windows turned looking glasses--
swung and hung, the afternoon
danced in on elephant back.
But notes clinked glassy
on tan street.
Wandered back to the maw
passed into the throat.
Throbbing, carnival turned worship,
blasphemous felt my feet lulled
sleep-bound lyrics turned lullaby:
--What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
that is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
that could flash on the screen
in the blink of an eye and be gone
from me--
Held it close, kept it,
trained the circus home.
Author notes
Stepping out of my style.
The lyrics are from a few Neutral Milk Hotel songs, which provided an impetus for Prague as a carnival. The two are "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" and "Kind of Carrot Flowers Parts 2 & 3" if anyone is curious.
Please be honest! I'm not sure it makes much sense.
Does this work?
Comments
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Well Heylo There
I'd definately have to agree, I couldnt find any meaning or purpose behind it for me, I guess it not making any sense to me just goes to show you don't have to understand something to appreciate it and respect it as art. So even though I have no REAL idea of what your REALLY trying to express here, I could still appreciate the time that was put into it. The lyrics/words that were written, all work well, just seem out of context in some places, but it still works to an extent. Which completely baffles me. IDK? A good read but confusing.
TTYL
MM
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 3.
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it works, somehow!
i know what you mean when you say that you dont think it makes sense! but it really gets across the feel of the carnival and what you are describing is understood in a different way - kind of hard to explain! i dont really know what you ae talking about with all the 'jesus christ' bits etc, but im sure you know what youre talking about and the story behind it, so thats fine - i always write poems that i undertsand but noone else does! it doesnt matter, i dont think, as long as you feel that it conveys what you want it to.
quite impressive use of internal rhymes, i must say!
xxx -
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Thank you :-)
The bits that are hard to understand are actually just lyrics. I was walking around school one day with these extremely strange songs stuck in my head that reminded me of a carnival and I felt I was in the wrong setting for them to be there. So I was remembering my trip to Prague, and somehow it all coalesced. I'm very glad you thought it worked. Thanks again for the time and the comment!
Nienna
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