Share Poetry Critiques Poetry       Forums       Freewrite       Store      

Cry a Tear

Hold on and don’t let go
Cry a tear but nothing more
Words can break
But it won’t break you
Cry a tear but nothing more

Let them shout and scream your name
Cry a tear but nothing more
Let them gossip
It can’t hurt you
Cry a tear but nothing more

People stare and laugh your way
Cry a tear but nothing more
Let them laugh
It won’t mess you up
Cry a tear but that is all.

Don't hold on to all the bad things ppl say to you in life.what do you think of the poem?

Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poem

Reviews


  • Lad
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A sincere and upfront poem, emma, about - as I understand it - hanging in there, holding on, when the world and its people try to do you in. And I think the poem's right: one tear is enough, then, while holding on, let it go. Good advice to heal pain.

    I like the way you structured the poem; five-line stanzas with 4 beats in the first two lines, then two 2-beat lines, then a final 4-beat line. That took some thought on the poet's part, and it all makes the poem tightly drawn.

    My only suggestion is minor: perhaps the repeated line is repeated too much, and changing just one of them might give the line more impact when it IS used. My thought is to change the last line in the second stanza to something like: "Cry a tear, but only one." But that's, of course, entirely up to you. Even as it is, the line and the poem DO work well: a courageous poem!

    Later...

    Lad


  • BlackKettle
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is good
    a good display of the angst in young lives
    the emotions that well up when dealing with all the demeaning thoughts and words of others you have to be around nearly everyday
    and a good suggestion of not letting it get to you
    but allowing yourself still to feel, that one tear
    its good
    i like it

  • mimianddax1
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think thats a very good message. A lot of people, especially teens could really take that to heart. "Cry a tear, but that is all" good ending.

  • XsecondstorysuicideX
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thnx soo much for the feedback on my poem
    i think ur a really good poet too
    -ashley


  • riveralex
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Y'know, Emma..

    ...ANYONE can be bullied if the conditions are right... or, I should say "wrong". It's a nasty, unacceptable business and some goddamn adult should be protecting you. If they aren't, it's not your fault and your assertion of your worth and strength in the last line " it won't mess you up" is absolutely right. Hurray for you, matey.

    Those to blame here are ignorant, their behaviour stupid and cruel and absolutely NOT ok. NEVER forget that, ok??? Best RA