Little Girl

When I lost my little girl to the sea
I was still a young man,
Inexperienced and naïve,
Not knowing how dangerous the world is.
I took her out to the sea,
Made her hold my hand while we went into the waves
For she had never been swimming before.
She loved the water,
Dived down underneath the shining surface,
To touch the sand below,
She would bring up fistfuls of slimy sand
And laugh and laugh and let the grains drift back into the water.
Daddy, she whispered when she came up one time,
I can hear them.
Who, I humored her.
The voices, Daddy, She scrunched up her brow and stared at me.
The voices of the sea people.
They want me to come down,
Down beneath the water.
There are no sea people, I told her.
There is nothing there, no one calling.
No one at all.
She must not have believed me,
She must have wanted to see for herself.
I must not have held her hand tight enough.
And she swam down to see the sand,
And a great wave came and knocked me over
And swirled me in the sand, and knocked me back to the shore.
When I came up there was no hand in mine.
No head bobbed in the water and no feet stuck out as she tumbled around.
I called for her, I searched for her
But when the sky darkened and it got cold I left her to her fate,
My little girl.
I just left her,
Too frightened to face what might come out at night,
What I might see.
My little girl, left behind.
I should have believed her,
I should have held her closer,
I should never have left her behind.
Even tonight, years later,
As I sleep, alone
I can see her face.
Green and washed over and over by the water,
The edges softened and the skin pale and stretched tightly,
All color gone but for a slight green and a rotting.
I can see her eyes, blank, empty
Nothing registered in them.
Her arms and legs trailing behind her in the cold water,
Hair floating behind her, longer than before, in every direction.
Her nails grown to be inches long,
The fingers flexing as the water moves them.
I can see her floating deep in the water with the voices calling around her,
Weaving a song in the water as she watches,
Life sucked out of her, held there still.
I long to scatter the ghostly water Folk,
To run forward and scatter them and take my little girl
But when the scatter and I run to take her in my arms,
There is nothing but empty air and when I wake,
My bed soaked and salty,
I can see her empty eyes, floating in the air
White and pale with pupils soggy and ragged.
I can hear them, Daddy.
They wanted me to go down.
Why didn’t you believe me? Why didn’t you listen?
I thought you loved me Daddy,
Why did you leave me?
Why?
How could you run away before they could come away, if you knew what was coming?
My little girl, my little girl
My little girl, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry little one,
I wasnt brave enough for you, I couldnt go on.
Little one, little one, beleive me
I would never have one.