there is a thread
that lingers between your fingers
and mine
we spin it 'round,
hoping to draw close
scissors in hand
i let go
the saddest sound
of metal closing in sharpness
pulling i see the end---
antiquated love affairs
need not be restored
we are burnt, scrapped,
scratched
though beauty is in the wounds
we aren't martyrs or saints
we were made for tranquil sadness
old lingering memories
left for the mind to tie
yellow ribbons on
but we are past,
and though time is but a continuum
i dare not hold to physics
for then, all things
within this realm,
fall
gravity.
one mistake of this re-run
lingering only in the shadows
of illicit worlds and black holes
if we don't stop
moving along this bearing
we'd find ourselves ruled once again
by a science i wish to deny.
Inertia.
our thread has long been severed
our memories thrown away,
we aren't WE--
that pronoun ties us to others
to our own set of anchors
waiting soundly
in our homes
trusting
in our own worlds
spinning in its dependable axis.
spinning in uncertainty.
say what you think.
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Memory is there to slice
..us up sometimes, but as you point out, memory is mainly lies. A very sad and wise poem, particularly for one, like me, who has tumbled so deep into love at times that letting go/getting out has required a bulldozer more than a pair of sharp scissors. Acute, this observation: the need we, safe, have for what we know to be danger. Very moving, elegantly and eloquently expressed.
"we are'nt WE" - never better said, Iphios. Best RA. Rewarded 8
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Hi RA,
Well, yes, sometimes bulldozers are needed, unfortunately i could only come up with scissors. It be overkill to use a bulldozer to cut thread. Kidding aside, i'm glad this moved you. I was uncertain how it worked as a whole, but your review made me breathe easy.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment and insight on this poem, greatly appreciated.
-iphios
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Excellent
Very profound words of philosophy. I have long thought that everything in the universes tied together as one. I see that everything ends, but I feel all endingd are mysterious unknown beginnings.
Best for me:
we are burnt, scrapped,
scratched
though beauty is in the wounds
we aren't martyrs or saints
and the closing line.
Excellent write.
Rich. Rewarded 6
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Hi Rich.
I was about to give up on this poem and archive it, but im glad i waited. I'm glad you appreciated the poem. Yes, things are intertwined with each other. I have found the connection between science and the day to day experience to connect really well.
Thank you for the read and thoughtful comment.
-iphios
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Philosophically and poetically sound
Hi Iphios, I know I've read this before and meant to come back and compliment you on it. It is as sound piece of philosophy as it is a piece of poetry. The two always make good bedfellows in my humble opinion. Nice work. >W<. Rewarded 4
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Hi Windhover,
Its been a while since i got a comment from you and im glad this 'experimental' poem got your attention. Philosophy and poetry truly are good bedfellows. I found that i get to exercise my thoughts through poetry better. And I'm glad for this instance it worked. Again, thanks for the re-read/re-visit. Its always good to hear from you.
-iphios
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This blend of science and affairs of the heart, Iphios, and its combination of the two most essential words in it, gravity and inertia, make for a many-layered contemplation on the finiteness of a relationship, its thread cut by a snip of metal, its hanging end just as it ought to be now, become an I, free of "illicit worlds" and "black hole" memories. The result: a kind of paradoxical "dependable...uncertainty." Like waiting for Godot, but with the frailest of hope.
Wonderfully conceived and executed poem for me to take in, rich with pondering the usefulness of futility, the seductiveness of opposites. And the conceit of "spinning" and its "thread" throughout gives this poem an amazing unity of thought and feeling. Really nifty poem.
Later...
Lad -
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Hi Lad,
Glad you found this poem Lad. Science has always interest me and somehow the ideas of science make their way into my poetry; almost like the perfect metaphor for a lot of things. And i'm glad those who get to read this attempts like how it works. I wasn't sure about this poem. I wasn't sure how it all would work, but im glad to get good feedback. Again, my appreciation for the time you gave to read and comment on this little experimental poem.
-iphios
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hey iphios
i always wanted to do an extended metaphor poem like using physics but i'm too dumb but on top of that this is so good and well constructed even if i where top of my class i couldnt have done this, great structure and loaded with great lines. also i've always been a sentimental fool and could relate to this
dave. Rewarded 6
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Hey dave,
The physics metaphor sort of just happened, never was that good at physics but somehow when i write poetry i seem to remember it. Now, science information becomes useful, unfortunately not as my teacher would have wanted...I on the other hand always wanted to add humor to my poetry, but can't. I suppose we all have a list of things we want to do. Thanks. I appreciate the read and comment. Glad you could relate to this.
-iphios
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Hey Iphios
I like everybody else before me enjoyed this poem very much, and for all of the same reasons that they did. I especially liked the "we aren't WE-" part, then the ending with "in our own worlds/spinning on its dependable axis.//spinning in uncertainty." I thought that was a really good way to put things. Your stating the obvious but doing it in a sideways manner. Works well with poetry, uniquely reminding us how easily we get caught up in our comforts of our own little worlds. That's the only new thing I can think of to say. Great poem. have a good one.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
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Hey marcus,
Im pleased to know that you enjoyed this poem. Often i am surprise on the poems readers can related to and enjoy. As i mentioned in previous comments i was planning to archive this poem earlier, and glad i didn't. Nothing is more fulfilling to me than a reader enjoying something i wrote. Thanks for taking the time to read this poem and for leaving your thoughts.
-iphios
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Reminds me
Of Pablo Neruda and his poem about the dancing spheres. I liked it a lot. Well done. -
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Thank you. Its an honor to know that somehow this reminds you of Neruda. Im not particularly sure which poem you are referring to. Anyway, im glad this worked for you. thanks for the read and the comment.
-iphios
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Excellent
I like it, the layout suits what you have written.
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thanks for stopping by. its always good to know ones work is appreciated.
-iphios
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riveralex
April 1, 2008