Finger tips climb ivory mountains
Passing endless fields of freckles
As lips indulge in ponds of flesh
Taking time to absorb the tranquility
Ears encounter gusts of whispers
Passing along promises of rapture
Perception lost in deep seas of eyes
As desire warms the fields of love
Reviews
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Hey Natasha,
Its been a while since i last read a poem from you. I think the juxtaposition of nature and body parts is successful here. The sensuality of the poem and the unforced used of nature to depict a passionated moment made this poem work. The title gave me a feeling that the stanzas of the poem was truly a landscape, though the image is ragged as they are working along body parts, its a good painting. I had trouble with the second stanza, i think that's where the work can be done. Its not as tight as the first stanza. Nonetheless, as you said you are still working on the writing, this is a good start. Welcome Back. I'll definitely read your other works. See you around.
-iphios -
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Thank you so much for the comment! I agree with you on the second stanza, and the poem does need some revising. I think I'll take on this poem another day, when some good inspiration hits me. Your comment was a great start to me coming back to sharepoetry. I'm excited to read the work of poets that I haven't heard of from awhile. Thank you again.
~Natasha
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iphios
March 31, 2008