Share Poetry Critiques Poetry       Forums       Freewrite       Store      

Hot Chocolate

a cold winter day
chills me to the bone
so does sitting in my room
feeling all alone

your love is hot chocolate
warming me from head to toe
melting my cold heart
like the sun melts the snow

your love is hot chocolate
sweet and inviting
never do you fail
enchanting and delighting

your love is hot chocolate
I’m prepared for any storm
because just your smile
is enough to keep me warm


    : Comment:

Comments

  • Hanah gold member
    May 15, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Flowed well and I liked it.It's really sweet.I know sb who likes hot chocolate .Keep writing!


  • ACpoetry
    April 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    I love the metaphor...

    However, when you mention your 'cold heart' I get the implication that you yourself are a sour person? , though I'm sure that's not the case.
    And I didn't quite think 'never do you fail' fit. Maybe if you'd clarify somewhat it would flow better.

    That's my shot at being 'brutally honest'. Not very brutal, is it?

    Regards,
    - A.C.


    • ali-cat
      April 28, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      I haven't looked at this poem for literally years, yeah, so I think I should clean it up a bit! thanks for the comment!
      _ali-cat_<333