Captivated,
As a child
By that shiny coin,
By that patterned paper,
By those lines
By those colours
Captivated now,
By her hair,
By her speech,
By her easy manners,
By her nervous stammering
But then every captivation meets an end,
That coin loses its shine.
The patterns become mundane.
The lines become too restricting,
The colours too dark.
Her hair too unruly,
Her speech too choppy.
Her manners too easy,
Her stammering too nauseating.
Every captivation meets an end,
And then comes the new muse.
Waiting, like that shiny coin,
Waiting to be rubbed until it’s old and used.
Reviews
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The poem expresses the experience of childhood when a child is captivated by the shine of a coin. It proves to be an illusion, Man always prefers to live in illusions for realities are bitter and illusions are sweet. The poem shows that happiness is as trasient as the shine of a coin. Natural expression and natural experience has been presented in the poem. Good Luck.
Muhammad Shanazar -
Very cool... I like it. It reminds me of the stages of love in a relationship. It begins with enfatuation over the new boy/girl... then there is reality, when you find there are faults... and finally there comes that stage of compensation, where we decide if the value outweighs the faults. Yes, this does speak of coins, paper, and hair but the same sequence flows for the most important relationships in our life, too. It is a sequence that may repeat many times before we find that "coin" that holds its shine for us. At least, that is what I took from it.
Very, very nice writing. I am impressed.
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The beginning of this poem is endearing. It makes me think of a naive little girl dipping her toes in the lake of love. But then, there is a sense of disappointed numbness here, as the 'captivation meets an end'.
It speaks of the glamour of perspective; how something which once seemed 'captivating' can become 'unruly, choppy, nauseating...' And then, the word 'love' is nowhere mentioned. Was this then, a shallow fascination, soon dissolved?
The last stanza makes me think of a downward spiral into increasing apathy, as the 'shiny coin [is] waiting to be rubbed until it's old and used.' I guess, as Mark said, we must all search for that coin which holds its shine for us, and refuses to fade. This is a good poem, even if it is 'less professionally written.'
Sam
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Those who strive to be professional,
all the the time have far less fun. To be captivated by something or someone we see as desirable is natural especially in the young. It is sad to say but generally that type of attraction doesn't last. I think the stanzas could actually be speaking literally. As a child he was captivated by the glitter of gold tropheys as such. Not learnig any differnt as he grew older he didn't look any deeper than the pretty surface. Since all he was attracted to was the superficial appearances when her looks faded he lost interst. Then comes another captivation waiting, probably unknowingly, to be used until he loses interest again. As a matter of fact her appearance may not actually change that much at all in reality but rather simply lose their appeal because he has lost interest.
Muhammad Shanazar
April 16, 2008
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