sidewalk finches peck
big sis rations granola
brother's cupped hands beg
...
Middleton smoke wafts
tongue smoothes mint chocolate block
double-shot adieu
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Tight haiku (s) Papy
Perfect imagery..birds pecking while sister rations the food..
I got the feel of you writing this from a seat a coffee shop etc..I think the entire feel and the double shot gave that feeling to me...Am I right or not, lol
I guess middleton is a reference to a town or sumthing....but do get the smoke wafts is indeed smoke wafting.
Really like this set of haikus...doesnt need more...doesnt need less..Just right
Cin
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Good,
Very sharp imagery in this poem. I like the twin haiku concept, it works very well here.
Nice read
Bill
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