If you happen to find my body, please dont bring it back to me.
Come Across my soul, Let it fade.
I have lost myself, And I don’t want to be found.
Leave me here, Broken in a million pieces.
Let me lay here and die.
As it was meant to be.
Six feet under
Is where i want to be.
This pain continues.
The screaming and the yelling.
Reality breaks.
Glass shatters.
I whisper a broken lullaby.
You carry the broken pieces to my grave.
Scatter them and scream.
The blood is on your hands.
I cant take this world anymore.
What am i to do?
Is this the only escape?
My blood is cold, as is my heart.
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Author notes
The picture is a picture that i took on my phone..hope you like it.
Is this actually good? Can you feel the emotion and pain? Do you understand it?
Comments
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i find it hard to read the red on the red
i don't think the poem is finished, it doesn't feel finished
but i like these lines
"I whisper a broken lullaby.
You carry the broken pieces to my grave"
they are beautiful and wonderful
overall, i like this poem -
I like the hauting emotion behind the words here.
It flowed so well in some places and in others not so...
Example I would have these lines like so..
I have lost myself,
don’t want to be found.
Leave me here,
broken in a million pieces.
Strong sharp imagery through-out
SO I feel some work on rhythm of it/ placing
But otherwise I like what it's sharing with us.
My fav stanza is --
I whisper a broken lullaby.
You carry the broken pieces to my grave.
Scatter them and scream.
The blood is on your hands
Deep writing
and the pic is cool
Cindy
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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