I cannot write another poem
For you are not you
again,
i breathe you like a thousand years before
your sweet scent of lilac gone
you smell of prostitute--
nicotine, smoke and sweat
used times too many
i stare into you like a thousand years before
your eyes of cobalt spheres depthless
mirroring a hippie child---
drugged, oiled and greased
beyond help
My fingers remember your honey brown skin
moist, supple, and smooth
i touch you again, like i did eons ago
and find it dry,ashen and barren
an old abandoned woman's landscape
a war veteran in drought
your hair of soft strands
like grass in early morning
linger but in memory
long forgotten in the ages that passed
For the meadows have gone empty
and your crown of curls
limp in its unnatural light
and the kiss, so soft
wet, but wanted,
has gone acidic,
burning no more in passion, but in pain
hard to the lips, urgent in thirst
black in intention
I cannot write another poem
for You
are gone
you are no longer you
you are gray, cynical and bleak
and i blame myself
for i turned my back on you---
gaia.
Reviews
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everyone's poems are about love right now
You really hooked me with the "you smell of prostitute--" line. Highly unexpected. A lot of your other imagery is really unusual too. This was a very satisfying read. Bravo.
. Rewarded 4
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well, i didn't notice that everyone was writing about love...but im glad this got you hooked and im glad it was that particular line, as that's my favorite. Satisfying? good. I can't ask for anything more. Thanks again for the read and comment.
-iphios
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omg...H-O-T
that is sooooooooooo good and really wow, like carzy good! there is so much of everything in there. love, want, but not the regulary uncontrollable lust that wins out in the end! hell yes! bravo man
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Hey there. glad this worked for you. Glad it got you to read and comment. A
-iphios
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i don't get the 'gaia' at the end, but i liked the poem
i loved the lines
"you smell of prostitute--
nicotine, smoke and sweat
used times too many"
i loved the imagry in this poem.......loved the comparrison. Rewarded 4
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Thanks. glad it worked for you. "Gaia" is another name for Mother Earth. This poem was written with an environmental theme in mind.
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oh, i knew that...sorry, twas a stupid question...but i'd forgotton...thanks for telling me...
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Excellent write, Iphios, though we've come to expect no less. Putting Gaia in the title was my only clue that this was about the environment, because the parallels of a goddess and a hard-used woman are so numerous. I like how we're not sure whether you mean a woman or Gaia until the (bitter) end, then my eyes skipped back up to re-read, the lines taking on new depths, "your eyes of cobalt spheres" a lovely description of the oceaned orb beneath our feet.
"You smell of prostitute" - perfectly evocative of ugliness, jars the reader out of lilacs and poetry.
My favorite lines have got to be,
". . .and the kiss, so soft
wet, but wanted,
has gone acidic . . ."
Luminous write.
Cheers,
Pie
. Rewarded 8
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Hi Pie.
Its was nice to see your comment after being away from the site for some time now. Ah yes, i too have become less present in this site.
I'm glad that the idea of the environment came in at the second read. That was the point, i wrote it to suspend the idea that this was about the earth. I like the idea of earth or even a country as a person we either love or abuse. It makes it more real i suppose.I appreciate the time you gave in reading this poem. Also, im glad you liked the lines you mentioned. Again, its always great to hear from you. See you around Pie.
-firebird
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wow!
i am utterly amazed by the wonderful imagery of this poem, pertaining to earth's destruction...i absolutely appreciate poets like you who could show your concern and love about the environment in your writings...deep poets like you should have your works published so other people can share in your genius in writing...i like this very, very much...thank you for sharing.
. Rewarded 8
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Your comment made me smile. I am flattered that you liked this poem and found it worth publishing. I am lucky to have seen the world and was able to relate it to the woman in this poem. This poem fell on my lap and i was happy to have written it. Again, thank you for your praise and kind words. Its encouraging.
-iphios
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very powerful images.Yet so angry, angry at her who did not stay fresh and sweet and clean as you first saw but became after you left what your write, hate.
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Thank you. glad you liked it.
-iphios
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Excellent
I don't know what to add to what others have written here. The imagery is amazing and your lines are true poetry, not just chopped up prose. I did not know what gaia was until I read the comments here so I did think it was a woman at first. I, too, read it again after I found out and liked it even better for knowing. Keep writing.
. Rewarded 6
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Hey DebraLynn,
Thanks for taking the time to read this poem and re-reading it after looking up what gaia means. More than anything, i'm glad you liked it. What more can a poet ask for.
-iphios
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Fleas
Hi Iphios. This lovely, a simply outstanding extended metaphor, showing your compassion as clearly as your skill. I couldn't help reflect on a nature program I once saw which addressed the concept of 'Gaia the Goddess' and showed we needn't really fear for her. She will shrug us off like a dusting of fleas and re-invent herself for billions of years to come as she has thousands of times already. She simply changes her make-up once in a while. We, as a race, may be about to help her with that process, that's all. Enjoy your stay while she lets you! Hugs >W<
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Hey W,
thanks for taking the time to read this poem and leaving a comment, its been a while since i got a comment from you. I suppose there is truth to that, her change is constant. If man evolves, why wouldn't she go through the same thing. Good to hear from you Windhover.
-iphios
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amazing
this was really "wow", auusome poetry...concept is really good, the subtle way uv written it is very effective..i only found wht ur writing about after googling out for gaia, but i think thts the way it should be, moreover im a novice myself,
emotions have come out very well, there is a concern about the current problems the world is facing which i feel more and more writers should be writing about..i liked it most for the topic uv chosen. Rewarded 8
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Hey songwriter,
thanks for taking the time to read this. Glad you liked it.And it was nice of you to google the word, your 'active' reading is flattering. My concern for the environment is highly connected to the fact that its not truly separate from us. Thanks again.
-iphios
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hi
What deep feelings are displayed here............"and your crown of curls
limp in its unnatural light" as any woman can tell you lifstyle and diet change can sure make a difference in our appearance.........looks like you have trully pin pointed your emotions......and that is, after all, what poetry is for
. Rewarded 6
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Hey LD,
thanks for taking the time to read the poem. This poem was brought about by an idea of the environment. Gaia, referring to mother earth. Thanks again.
-iphios
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Wow, this is such a sad poem, it's beautiful, I love it
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Thanks cee. Thank you for reading.
-iphios
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ravenontheleft
May 1, 2008