Windswept wisdom from the eternal book of knowledge is carried away by the gales of history. Sacrificial lambs devoted to war, resting in graves that are acknowledged no more. Women and slaves who defied crooked law with cunning and bravery the world never saw. Unheard and unnoticed, their words are now dust, abandoned by millions who live in mistrust. From England to Guam, from the king to the pauper, each volume's neglected by a reverence improper. Why don't we turn to the words in that book? When will we learn it's essential to look? Windswept wisdom from the eternal book of knowledge is carried away by the gales of history as yesterdays' storm clouds come calling again. |
So... what do you think?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Ashes to Ashes...
Hi Mark. You´ve hit another topic close to my heart - forgotten (suppressed) history. For me the eternal book of knowledge encompasses the Alexandria Library burnt to cinders by mad monks, the vellum scrolls of Meso-America destroyed by mad monks again, tomes of gnostic hermetica proscribed and auto-de-fayed by... yeah, you guessed it.
I liked the setup of this piece, Mark, with an intro followed by a rhyming sequence and "outro" completed by two lines appended.
"..that are.." in line 5 could be erased, in my opinion, lending to rhythmic flow.
Good ending alluding to history repeating itself. How´d the contest go?
Warm regards
gG
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks so much for the great comments and helpful tips. It is much appreciated. It won Gold in the contest, so I am very pleased! =)
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on the mark
hey mark, those that don't history are doomed to repeat it is true, but as your poem profoundly point history is made of people i.e slaves, paupers etc. that arent even footnotes but the true heros and shapeshifters that are overlooked. your gold is well deserved.
dave -
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Thanks, Dave. I am glad you liked and could connect with the message. I agree that it is a very important one that can't be forgotten. Thanks again!
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As I read it for like the second or third time..I am still amazed by your words
lol
The haunting reminders//messages within..is your talent as a writer
These two lines will always have the most sting I reckon
Sacrificial lambs devoted to war,
resting in graves that are acknowledged no more
Just great deep poetic words Mark, said it before and I will say it again
Cindy
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks again, Cindy! I am glad it didn't lose anything in the 2nd and 3rd reading and I appreciate the support and compliment. All my best....
Mark
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Hey Mark...
By ignoring words of wisdom those who control the reins make more money, become rich through the ignorance of those underneath. Much that is true in your poem, for me the lesson has always been greed defies wisdom and generosity.
One suggestion - consider dropping "...of knowledge" from "eternal book (of knowledge) to me with "wisdom" in the preceding line "knowledge" is somehow redundant. I think it scans better too. Only my opinion. Powerful piece. MJ. Rewarded 8
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Thanks so much for taking the time on this, MJ, along with the comment I see on my Patrick Henry poem. Your support and valuable suggestions are always deeply appreciated. As I go back to fiddle with this one down the road I will be most thankful for this review. All my best....
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i would like to grow as a poet into the one that you are now...
i acknowledge the fact that in the field of writing poems, each one of us has our own forte...while mine is just writing love poems, yours is writing very good poems that has tons of truth shared through lyrical or poetic inscriptions...do i make sense?
hehehe...i guess, i'm just carried away by the wonderful message behind this poem...that i'm wishing i could write something like this...this is really a very good write, mark...another one of your best pieces...i totally appreciate your sharing this piece with us here at sharepoetry.
. Rewarded 8
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Leigh, I am really flattered and honored by your review. I think your have great talent as a writer so it means a lot, to be sure. I think growing as a poet or writer is an ongoing process that never ends. When I jined this site just over a year ago, I had not written a single poem in over 12 years. I did not expect to have success because I often read poems in journals and could not "get it". But, to my shock, things have gone well. I was encouraged early on and got incredible support from other poets on this site. Were the poets on here not the helpful individuals we know them as , I may have left long ago. Now, just recently, I have become busy on AllPoetry. The contests on there offer a new challenge, forcing my hand at times into new territory. This contest was hosted by Cindy (CinfullyDelicious). She posted a picture and the challenge was to write a poem on it. A bit of pressure, taking the control away a bit, but a catalyst to try something new. Without her contest or the pic she used as a prompt, I never would have written this poem or approached this subject. So, the support of SharePoetry and the challenges on AllPoetry have been so key to my growth. I thank you once again for you kind words, thank you for the great poetry you've shared yourself, and wish you the best as you continue to grow as a writer.
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gnosisonG
May 7, 2008