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Ever Lost.

 

 

hope less than loss

she slept in dreams

ditched in curve

of bended mind

whilst Seed of Father

grew inside

Hades formed of concrete

walls where sunlight

was denied

bequeath a lonely child


 hourless our loss

she wept in screams

pitched to shriek

whilst Greed of Father

fattened leech

neon sheen gave birth

a glistening slave

mothered beneath the earth

withered within His reach

taught to swallow secrets

only Hell can teach


 a lesson of loss

she kept her being

stitched in shadow

a dark unseeing

bind of weave obscuring

Needs of Father

link of chains umbilical

to each unique

perverted miracle

laboured nursed and nurtured

bleak anaemic life

bestowed below

pale years of age

on Daughterwife


a Demon dug His pit

filled it

with broken bits of lust

tortured toys self-disgust

servile survival so vile

sane no creature

could remain

Breed of Father

feathered airless nest

with silence strained of intimate pain

from His largesse

rape another dead weight

to hobble gait of adult-

hooded heartstone cold

stunted cellar child oh

the surface found you old

youth in rust embossed

forever and

ever lost


Author notes

 

Few current events are as shocking and sickening as the affair of the fiend Fritzl and the twenty-four year incarceration with continuous rape of his daughter and three of the children she bore by his abuse, even in these jaded media days. 

If ever there were a subject deemed too ghastly to render in poetic terms without the requisite distance of time, this would be one of them, but I offer no excuses and give no apology for being attracted, like an inverted moth, to the darkest corners of human abomination.

Some endeavours wrench themselves from quill tip and this is my pathetic attempt to engage with an emotional portrayal of sensations experienced by the foremost victim, Elisabeth, who through astounding courage and amazing fortitude was able though prematurely aged, toothless and bent double by suffering in cramped conditions, to survive her score and four years in hell.

Few writes have left me so spent.

I leave it to my peers to judge the rectitude of such a dubious poetic undertaking.

Debasement Children.

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 30 of 51     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • purple esprit silver member
    November 26, 2009

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    Knowing this tragedy very well, I must say that with your great poem the "story" enters the hearts for much more emotion and makes the ugly pain being felt much more than listening to all the news about this cruellest deed of a man who never deserved the name "father".
    You share a masterpiece herewith and as such it is simply perfect. Thank you! Ulla xx


    • gnosisonG silver member
      December 3, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      In Return...

      Thank you so much, Ulla!
      Twas not an easy write and still it sits in me like a livid sore.
      I`m half ashamed to be its author.
      Never was there a fiend less deserved of the title: father. May he rot in the basement of soulless oblivion.

      gG


  • HelloMyNameIsJesus
    November 17, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    gives me chills. great job.


  • drummertdog
    November 15, 2009

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    gnosisonG,

    This poem is incredible. The meaning hits so relentlessly, which stresses the shredding misery that lies therein your words. I would be a blasphemous fool to even attempt offering revision to this work. It's absolutely flawlessly fitted together. Let it ever serve as a testament to the ever lost. Thanks for a great read!

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.

  • Kunu
    November 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    You're too damn Ggood

    I can only look up to you, Gg.
    This is an amazing poem.
    It's perfect in every way.
    I hope to be like you someday...and write as beautifully as you.
    you're a poetic Ggenius.
    Thank you for posting this Sistine Chapel of a poem


    • gnosisonG silver member
      November 3, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Kunu.

      Thanx for your kind and way too generous praise.
      With requisite dedication to word and emotion I`m sure you will become far more proficient than anything to which my humble efforts may attest.

      Regards

      gG


  • TheJOKERSaid
    April 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i remeber that story...that guy was fucked up and what he did was just as fucked up...it always seems to amaze me what people are capable of...in this case both of them...the dad for what he did and the daughter for surviving it...the human mind is an amazingly scary place haha...im sure elizabeth would love to read that she is looked at as a hero for surviving hell on earth


  • Smiling Star
    April 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful. I love the form and everything else about it! The form certainly helps the piece sink in. The rhyme was great, I was fascinated by the pattern

    This is really good. Contest material

    -Krista


    • gnosisonG silver member
      April 12, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Krista!

      Fitting that you (with your nom-de-plume), should comment Ever Lost.
      The subject is one of utter loathing to me but the technical rendition adheres to a reptition sequence of a certain line and rhyme ( need of father....) this helps to anchor a loose rhyme over a drowning narrative.
      Could be a lyric though the subject belies this possibility.
      This is a tribute to the amazing, incredible fortitude of Elisabeth.

      Thanx again and warm regards

      gG


  • HelloMyNameIsJesus
    April 4, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this was incredible. this is what i'm talking about, using simple words to convey a much deeper meaning. great topic, you captured the hideous atmosphere of it all very well.


  • Young Hawk
    March 23, 2009

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    And yet you have taken this topic and written about it with so much passion. Your words and you skill do it justice. The rhyme and rhythm of this piece flow so well. I have found another great writer. 'neon sheen gave birth a glistening slave' and 'serle survival so vile' were very powerful. I'm sorry I cannot say anything more. Thank you for this.
    ~Hawk

    • gnosisonG silver member
      April 4, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Hawk!

      You say more than enough with your kind comment.
      Thanx
      gG

  • Done
    February 14, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Well worthy

    of endeavor, Simon.

    I've read that this travesty has become more wide-spread as many families displaced and split up by natural disasters and economic conditions throughout the Third World have retrogressed to this malignant practice. Children are losing their place of respect and being cherished in today's world that sickeningly objectifies them. This write was an excellent portrayal of just what this evil is: the lowest form of hatred and selfishness as it destroys the life of another for selfish satisfaction. Well written as always and the words are great. "Link of chains umbilical" is a great line.

    I remember the first time I heard this story and simultaneously felt exultant and repugnant that she was finally freed, but in absolute disgust at how a human life had been so adulterated to nothingness. This was great, Simon. "Debasement children" is but a continuation of your hallmark cleverness. Good write. I like the metaphor of being swallowed in the earth as a hell as it lends a dark, claustrophobic feel to it.

    'Ever Lost' is an excellent title that emotes well the cost of this evil.

    al


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 17, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Squared, Al!

      Yeah. Though Austria is hardly the third world (more a "everybody-mind-your-own-business-bougeousie-paradise") you raise a scary point on the abuse of our young and innocent. For if one equates the huge media focus on these hideous crimes with the utter lack of coverage in the poorest, non-syndicated and inaccessible areas containing vast swarms of the milling throng, then what we hear about is merely the tip of the iceberg.
      Objectification of real humanbeings is certainly part of the problem, I agree.
      I pictured this as occuring in Hell with the Devil descending the stairs to commit his monstrous acts upon his own flesh and blood.
      I can´t even begin to imagine the fortitude and bravery Elizabeth obviously has to have survived this unbelievable ordeal.

      Warmest regards

      gG


  • skyviewexpress
    February 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing...

    This was amazing. You have taken something so monstrous and constructed it's story with such passion and proficiency. The rhythm of the poem is excellent, the rhyme scheme is smooth and natural, and everything seems to fall together flawlessly. I loved how the title was played in to this piece, and I loved these lines...

    taught to swallow secrets

    only Hell can teach

    These lines have an evident strength to them. You couldn't of written anything more perfect to capture the essence of this tragedy. The alliterations and rhyming just added even more strength as well as interest to this piece. Very, very good write. A subject not often visited by poetry. Thank you for writing this poem.

    -Kitten

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 17, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Skyview!

      Thanx a million for your exceptionally kind and generous comment.
      And yes, I think my own favourite lines are those you highlighted.
      Cheers again!
      Warmest regards

      gG


  • Enoq
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dazzled

    I loved some of the flow in this piece. It is hard to master such a verbose fluidity in randomly inspired pieces such as this. I commend you on your realization of that effort in this and many other pieces I have read. Both obfuscating and nerocentric I love it. Of course I am referring more to your style then your meaning or accomplishment there of in this poem but to be honest until the third or so re read I never know what anyone is talking about.

    FAV LINE:

    "servile survival so vile

    sane no creature

    could remain"

    language: 4, rhythm: 3, tone: 4, form: 3.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      December 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Enoq!

      And seasonal greetings et al.
      With the trial of the fiend Fritzl coming up this dark depiction retains an unhealthily intimate umbra. Thanx for the neurocentric description, Enoq, I thought that was particularly apt in what I was attempting here.
      And I appreciate your mention of your fav line as I was uncertain about that one.
      Finally, don´t feel alone about having to read thru poems a few times to garner the gist of their content, it often happens to me!
      Warm regards and a happy new year

      gG

  • Nienna Colle
    December 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    gG, pressed for time, but I shall be back to this one. Like you I'm drawn to the depths of human disturbance, perhaps because I seek to know why? they occur. Not certain, have to ponder this, do some research, etc, BUT I feel your piece has yet to divulge all of its meaning to me. So I shall return.

    Hope (ironically enough) you and yours are well.

    N.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      December 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Nienna!

      Thanx for enquiring as to my wellbeing. All is generally effervescent with me and mine and may I extend seasonal solicitations to thee and thine also, dear Nienna.
      Take care and happy new year!

      gG


  • rhetorica silver member
    October 10, 2008

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    I imagine it must be difficult for you to keep up with your own inimitable intellect.I found this poem to be a taxing but ultimately unforgettable read.I think it highly improbable to have dealt with such a heinous subject in a more sobering manner and i`m not in the slightest bit surprised it left you so spent.

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      October 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Rhetorica!

      Thanx for your generous words. To be honest I had to doublecheck "inimitable" in the ever-at-hand dictionary which proves what a "bright" spark I am. Heheh.
      Stretching a limited ability means lots of hard taskmastering even more so when the subject is so extreme. I really appreciate you saying you felt it dealt with the horror in a sober manner, Rhetorica - this was an essential element in my puny attempt to convey the indescribable.

      Warm regards

      gG

      PS: Cool nom de plume by the way!

  • Gay-Militant
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    absolutely intoxicating. i don't think i have ever read something quite like this. it makes the nerves tingle and the eyes water. oh, the corpusles....they shake.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      October 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanx Demetrius Pious.

      Very kind of you to share your visceral reaction. I appreciate your generosity.
      Cheers

      gG

  • oxymoron270
    August 9, 2008

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    this poem was very clear as to the situation. it was dark and depressing. the imagery was really good as was the language. structure was fitting. topic, though depressing, was good and important. definitely worth the read.

    very good write,
    adie


    • gnosisonG silver member
      September 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      < Cheers Marshmallam!

      Sorry to bum you out but the subject certainly ain´t Hallmark material and as other folks have also been kind enough to mention Ever Lost is a dark and depressing ride.
      I´d be a total hypocrite to say these reactions were anything but highly satisfying to receive however, since the whole premise behind a write such as this is to deliver a visceral impact.
      There´s a gossamer fine balance between emotional honesty and over-the-top tasteless or pretentious bollox though and
      some are probably put off by the descriptive word-play but I found it an essential element in attempting to convey a topic too ghastly for everyday words.

      Your turn-around, I-am-off-to-my-happy-place-now poem made me laugh, Mallam, and of course I DO fully understand, heheh, your reaction reveals you to be a lady of sound and healthy mind!
      Besides I´ve always been a softy for marshmallows.
      It kind of makes me want to post something that might tickle your funny-bone in a GOOD way so as not to appear a monomaniac purveyor of doom and gloom.
      Hang on I must have a non-heavy scribble somewhere.... Oh yeah:

      There was a young woman from Enis
      Who bit off the knob of a....

      Waitwaitwait!! Highly inappropriate!! Back to the drawing-board - I´ll have to get back to you on that one I´m afraid.
      Take care.
      Warmest regards

      gGloom´n´doom

    • gnosisonG silver member
      September 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanx Adie!

      For your kind comment - hope all is well with you.
      Take care

      gG

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