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Rain

There was instant ecstacy
Pleasure flushed through every corner of my veins
The delight of the moment was so intense and pure

They splattered and danced on me to tunes of their own
The feeling was so magical
Even the cold couldn't snatch it from me

The heavens opened
And showered on me, a multitude of drops of joy.
As I stood there drenched with joy
I could do nothing but SMILE into the rain!

Author notes

I got drenched y'day in the rain and I loved it..the outcome of that is this poem

now .....how is this??

    : Comment:

Comments

  • Brian Balzer Greeters member
    April 15, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Delightful

    This was succinct. I like the format you chose. I'm a fan of centering when the line lengths are uneven. For me it just gives it a more appealing visual presentation.

    I used to love to get wet in a summer shower although I really don't like cold showers. I like that you took this experience and used it to create poetry.

    I'm not the biggest fan of starting lines with And or But unless it is necessary to add a needed line beat or to connect it to the previous line. You might consider moving And from the beginning of line second of the third stanza to the end of the first line.


    • elydia
      May 20, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      I know I'm late in respondig...but still thanks a lot for taking your time to read and comment on my poem.