We are friends to the end
together we can mend
our favorite apple tree
i cant reach, you can help me
you are my friend.
what do u think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very simple and non perplexed at all but its got and ok rhyme good job.
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Hehe, very sweet. The rhyme and style comes across as slightly nursery-rhymey, or something, which is very nice because without any description you conjure up ideas of childhood friendships and such, which is very appropriate. I like that the poem is very simply and short, but I think personally maybe it would be better with an extra two lines or so. It feels a tiny bit abrupt as it is.
Odd criticisms:
- Misspelled the title, *Friends
- Not a fan of the last line, it doesn't really say very much. You've already said "We're friends to the end" at the start, so then just saying "You are my friend" four lines later doesn't add very much.
Cute poem though,
Chris -
I like it
Straight-forward and sweet and very picturesque. I can see your friend lifting you up to reach an apple from the apple tree. I know your poem uses the word "mend" but this is what I picture. Nice job.
Birdie
language: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 3.
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haha
cute, funny, brought a smile to my face. could inspire a painting.
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Really sweet .Made me smile too .
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nice write julia
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I think
your poems make me smile
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