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i'm not perfect

I can't stop the tears
from falling down your face
I can't stop the addict
from enjoying the toxic taste
I can't look at myself
without saying
"what a waste"
the new cuts on my arm
I have already traced

Author notes

It's just a poem that says....I can't ...I can't be what i wish I could

how does it make you feel

    : Comment:

Comments

  • oxymoron270
    June 13, 2008

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    It feels honest

    Totally how it is with this kind of stuff. True to the heart, body, and mind. Thought that so many times... I relate to this poem for sure. So good job sticking in that emotion and thought. I love the "toxic taste" line. Nice alliteration and rhyming all at the same time. That part sticks out well. And I like the little dialog part. And I like that you said all that in such a short poem. I always take forever to get to the point, especially when I rhyme...but you have got this down. Way to not have it read forced at all. Awesome flow.

    Nicely done,
    Adie


  • XxTearsHaveFallenxX
    June 3, 2008

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    WOW GIRL WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This was a wow for me. I really liked this one it really expresses the truth tells you what really happens. Put emotion into it and I loved it because pain and emotion make for the best piece. When we do cut we are making a trace we are making a story one that will never be forgotten because when you look at it your scars you are constantly reminded that you were in pain and thats how you solved it and the only way you could . I really liked it because of the fact that it really got to me I really like it a lot you don't have to change anything about it.

    Sincerely your extremo emo friend,
    Chandra .C.


    Loved the piece a lot keep up the good work.


  • skipeople
    June 2, 2008

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    Smexy work my friend! Pain is the best source for writing, as writing (and a bit of self-injury) is the best for pain.

    I love it! I so love the rawness and truth. So many can relate and hell, cutting is a great issue to bring forth(In my opinion). Is your 'toxic taste" a reference to drugs?

    Aynwho, this is great, really. You shouldn't mess with it, I like it the way it is.

    Nicely done,
    Ash

    p.s. - message me if you need to talk =]


    • X-haydenx-xnochio-X
      June 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      yes, it is a refernce to drugs. but it can be to anything, the taste of anything, that will in the end prove toxic and kill