While you're thanking me, I'm thanking you
and we both know what I've been through.
Still you're here, making sure I'm fine.
All those nights, the tears I shed
and I swear, oh I swear, I'd be dead
if I had never found you.
Do you realize what you have done?
You took this soul and look what it has become.
This is my fresh new start, a bright new day
and even though you could turn away, you won't.
I hope you know the things you've said
have helped me out in times of dread.
And even though I thought you didn't care,
you changed my mind, you're always there.
No set of words can show how I feel,
but I think it's enough to let you in on my secret.
I appreciate all that you have done.
If I could save a day for you,
the world would know what we've been through.
They'd see the person I know that you can be.
From lonely nights and heartless days
to better thoughts, I owe you praise.
For now I can wake each passing day
and know someone cares, I know you care.
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Do you think this is enough to say thanks? Does the end seem a bit sharp (sudden) ?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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I love the cadence of this piece. It lends itself easily to song, but also works nicely as a poem. You use repetition well, which adds to the "poetic" quality of this piece. My major suggestion would be to add a line or two at the ending. It does feel rather blunt, as you seem to already have noticed. The final stanza feels more like a refrain, it has value and relevance in several places within the piece, but doesn't really say anything conclusive. H
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Spectacular!!!!
I think it gives plenty of thanks!! I love the way that you ended it! The ending is not at all sharp! In all our lives I think that we find a teacher that helps us so much that we have a need to thank them. You did a beautiful job! Kudos to you!!!
June 5, 2008
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