Sinister shadow falls
Into hours already dark
Whimsically distorting
Moments between the beats
Ominous obscurity
Infectious to the soul
Silently spreading
Through heart and mind
Bend over the water
And truth will not reflect
Only the murkiness
Is revealed to the eyes
Damage has been done
But stories have two sides
As darkness looms
Luminosity’s narrative ceases
Beware the baleful hours
When gloom embeds inside
Permanently clouding thought
Instilling harmful dreams
Beware for without caution
The reality will surely dim
Mysterious poison will close in
Claustrophobic or not, it’ll win
A question still remains
Through the darkness
And within light
Vulnerable and poisoned
You will make mistakes
But despite such heaviness
Piled atop your shoulders
Can you change this fate?
Reviews
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Holy crap! This is totally amazing! Every word, every line is right on beat. ...Like i really am speechless... this is just great! The imagery and picture created is fantastic. You most definitley don't need to touch this!
Excellent,
Ash
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well...
Hello there oxymoron, out of all the poems of yours that I have read this is definately by far the best one. I feel this is your strongest piece and the truest to art. You have some great imagery in this one, that is without a doubt. The picture you have painted with your words is a dark but beautiful one. It reads like a story but I have absolutely no idea what it's about LoL The only real sense of a story line or what's happening in the story is a person coming to grips with the darkness either inside of them or just overall in the world. But of course my interpretation of it all could be completely wrong. Some writers/poets like using Author notes to better explain their story or the message they are trying to get across, but as I don't see this being a life-lesson type of poem or a poem that has an agenda or message that you're trying to get out to people, I think it's better not to give any author notes. Therefore leaving the readers to come up with their own ideas and this way it leaves some mystery so the reader can fill in the blanks and try to figure out what it means to them, this also can make the poem more personal to a more universal crowd/audience or whatever you would like to call it LoL. EITHER WAY I THOUGHT IT WAS KEWL AND WELL WRITTEN. Congrats and thank you very much for sharing. Hope to hear from ya sometime soon my friend. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
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i think i can understand the feeling behind these lines...the journey through darkness with all those things which fate has bestowed upon us made an interesting reading..the flow of words is appreciable
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Love that title!
I often struggle with imagery and symbolism but I like this poem. Your first two lines do a great job of setting the tone for the story you tell. I like the last three lines of the first stanza. For me it says once evil has a grip it can take over quickly. The second stanza seems to suggest that the person doesn't see the true reflection of themselves because the evil within them has clouded their judgement. I had to read it a few times before I caught the meaning of -Luminosity's narritive ceases- the good inside loses it's voice. The third stanza feels like it's saying the more you think of these evil things the more they envelop you and take over. The last stanza looks to pose the question - once you've become so controlled by evil can you find your way back? This is a very well thought out story.
. Rewarded 8
skipeople
June 12, 2008
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