It seems you get that phone call
right when you’ve just
settled down to watch a
ballgame with a sandwich
or you get the bad news
when you’re about to go
on vacation
and have to change your plans
and maybe worst of all
is you were your right in the middle
of that hot blonde
that you were trying
to nail for years,
game over
and you never
have the proper attire
to attend the service
and have to run out and buy
a new jacket or shoes
at the last minute
plus you always have trouble
remembering how to knot a necktie
I’d be nice
if people were
a little more considerate
before they passed away
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I'm running a bargain basement funeral escort service. male or female dates. guaranteed not to fart on a church pew.
all escorts can knot ties and/or shoelaces. all entertain with a minimum of noise in even the most cramped, convenient place. all look good in black and carry a variety of condoms and breath mints.
If you or someone you know is dead, call me. Our motto: have fun or die trying.
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hey poem
can i use one of your escorts for a date.?
dave -
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any particular specifications? I cater to all kinds.
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Ha ha.
xRA -
have ye seen euology, dave? seems like a song for that movie
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R.I.P.
Dave,
wow this is bitter.
sorry you had to move your lazy butt off the sofa to attend a funeral. heh. life moves too quickly and uninterestedly to consider such inconveniencies. or anyone elses' for that matter. dang-it.
i guess we'll catch up on our rest when we, too, hit the grave.
best,
Pap
p.s. - i'd like to be nailed up in a simple pine box a good 60-70 years from today, or before i get too senile, and burried in a Pondersoa pine forest like those in NM, or by the ocean, any ocean, as long as it is not along the Gulf of Mexico or near a major city other than Seatle, Washington.
F.Y.I.
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hey pap
thanks for commenting, good luck finding your pine box.
dave
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So true!
Death always knocks us for a loop. And you are so right when you say that we have to buy new clothes for a funeral. It's that little shit that keeps you numb so you don't deal with the sick reality that death has come knocking yet again. You are a such a truth-teller!
Nobody will ever admit to being inconvienienced by death.
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hey lady J
thanks as always for the comments and encouragement.
dave
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I like this one. It's true...even thought we sure don't want it to be. I love the way you told it. I like how it ended. It's interesting over all. And it's simple but appropriate that way.
Nice one,
Adie -
I don't know him!
Hey Dave. That fearless, all-seeing, tell it the way nobody else would dare eye and voice of yours will conspire to get you in a shitload of trouble one day! This one sails close to the wind but it shows there's no end to the depth of our shallowness. Daring stuff. >W< -
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hey john
because so much is poetry is criticised as being, "safe" and mere word play, i take some pride at you saying daring, and if i do get into trouble i guess that would be the ultimate.
dave
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hahahah!!!
this is quite funny, dave...and presents a truth that people rarely admit to ever feeling, if at all...
but, death, even if it has already been quite expected will still be sudden to the people that are left behind...no matter how we sometimes wish that death would end the suffering of a loved one, when it comes, its not less painful and would still take one's breath away...
hmmm...i may have gone off kilter here, wandering off again...i tend to do that these days...
anyways, i enjoyed the humor in this, dave. just one tiny but of question...in line 23, would you happen to have meant "it'd" with the "i'd"? it's just a tiny typo again, and i hope you don't mind my pointing it out.
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 3.
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hey leigh
i'm glad you got a laugh i was trying to be funny but may stumbled upon a truth. thanks for pointing out the typo's
btw-my daughters visiting in Pangasaynon the town of Minouag (probably mispelled) so if your in the neighborhood stop by.
dave
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I love the last stanza of this! And I love that you're writing about death, but its humorous.
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thanks ayreon
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Some poems cannot be ignored. The title drew me in, as someone close (a co-worker) died earlier this year. It was sudden and he left all those loose ends at work and i was the one who had to take on his job. It was inconvenient, yes. At times i'd want to go and tell him to be more considerate. Ah well!
But though we wish this to be true, sometimes i think its partly because we want death to be more predictable...so we can handle not just the clothes, or the timing, but the relationship with the person that passed away.
I think what makes your poems work mr. ochs is that is present a point of view that very few would like to take. It may not be popular, but interesting nonetheless.
-iphios -
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hey iphios
thanks for commenting i think that what you said about our wish to make death more predictable is a very keen insight.
dave
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