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Breaking Your Heart

Listen,


I don’t mean to crush your spirit
But I know that’s what I’m doing
I don’t want to break your heart
Each time you keep pursuing

Feelings aren’t chosen
They just happen some day
So you can’t help loving me
And I can’t stop running away

I’m just not attracted
I’m just not in love
I can’t change my feelings
Just like you can’t above

But I’m tired of being the bad one
It’s unfair to hurt you so
But there’s nothing I can do
If I don’t love you though

You can wait all you want
But it’s been a real long while
And sorry, but nothing’s changing
So find someone to make you smile

Because I’m not that girl
Despite how much you’d like
I’m just not falling in love
It’s time to take a hike


I’m not worth this heartache
If I won’t reciprocate care
Please just understand
We won’t ever be a pair

It doesn’t matter how much you wait
Because I’ll always shatter your heart
Though I hate to break the news
We will always be apart

Is this any good??

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Reviews


  • Sammt
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad.

    Beside a few cliches such as "take a hike", etc. it wasn't bad. I noticed the meter was off in places, which made the lines feel kinda jumpy, and a lot of the rhymes were forced sounding. By that I mean in some stanzas, for example the second to last, it seems like you reworded the second line to make sure you could rhyme. In some places, you used words that would rhyme when it seemed like you didn't originally connect with those words or use them in the first place. Does that make any sense?

    But on the flip side, I like the idea for the poem, personally I don't come across poems with this subject very often, nor do I think about it often, either. And a lot of the ideas and thoughts behind each stanza were very true and deserved to be written. I suppose that comes with two years of thinking about a subject, though...Umm..lol...what I'm saying is if you polish it a bit, this gem would be more ready to be sold by a jeweler.

    . Rewarded 8

  • dave ochs
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    hey oxy

    well done, the meter was good, one line, if i don't love you though, seemed a little awkward because you needed to rhyme, also this poem was directed for only one reader, i wondered if you should give it to him but its too sweet.
    dave

    . Rewarded 4


  • CarlySeye
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I can relate to this for sure. It is better to be compassionately honest, than fake feelings you don't have, so although it is hard, it is better to be truthful. Besides, anyone who wants to be with someone who doesn't Love them back is only fooling themselves and needs to find some self worth.


  • mssbaker01
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    its very good

    This was a great poem to read. The way you made it rhyme kept me interested.Over all this poem was good.Mostly because i've been through something like that and I felt exactly how you did in this poem.