Inspired by the song "Cassie" by Flyleaf. One verse is from the song, I take no credit for it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5sInK8iRIU
Pending death
was on her side.
No regrets
to fill her eyes.
One remark
could save them all.
Believe in God
and face the fall.
'Don't be shocked
that people die.
Be surprised
you're still alive.'
One bullet shot
and she was dead.
With God above,
she was glad.
A resting smile
upon her face.
The demons, there,
set in their place.
Does is have enough meaning? (the poem not the song)
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Beautiful
In Church, yes I do go to church, we hear stories all the time about people who are threatened with death and the only way for them to stay alive is to renounce their beliefs and conform to "regular" society. I admire your ability to take one of theese such incidents and turn it into a beutiful, inspiring poem. I loved in the 2 stanza where it says, "Believe in God and face the fall." This really embodies your point about standing up for what you believe in. A weaker person would have broken down and renounced their belief in God, a stronger person will smile in the face of death and proclaim their love and belief in God. I also love at the very end where it says, "A resting smile upon her face," because it really brings out the idea of smile in the face of death to show that you have no fear. To answer your question, yes, this poem has plenty of fealing.
Kudos to you for once again capturing the true power of the moment.
Sarah
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brilliant
That is really good, except in the third actual verse (not the song bit) the 2nd and last lines do not ryhme unlike in the rest of the poem, which kind of disjoints it a little.
But that is so good, you write really really well, and your poem flows perfectly.
Ace!
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kewl
I like what you're writing about, I like the idea you have and the whole concept of everything behind it. The poem was very well written, it didn't flow "perfectly" but it definately had a nice flow to it, it was easy to read, The thing that impressed me the most was how much you were able to say and provoke thought with such small line bursts and how concise the poem was overall. good job. Hope to hear from ya soon and this piece has impressed me enough to look into more of your work, keep writing like this and i'll keep reading. I do hope to hear from ya soon, would like to know what you think of some of my poems as well. Thank you for sharing this with us and the best of luck with life and writing in the future, ROCK ON IN PEACE WITH STYLE!!
TTYL
MM
Sarah Under Water
June 30, 2008
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