When I'm thin: A Lament

When I'm thin,
Life won't be so difficult.
When I'm thin,
I won't self-insult.
When I'm thin,
Confidence I'll finally exult.
When I'm thin,
Life won't be in constant tulmult.
When I'm thin,
psychiatrist's I'll no longer need consult.
When I'm thin,
I'll finally feel like an adult.

When I'm thin,
I'll stop my hunger strike.
When I'm thin,
myself I'll finally like.
When I'm thin,
I won't deserve to be shunned;
When I'm thin,
because I ate too many cinnamon buns.

When I'm thin,
I'll finally be treated
with some respect.
My thighs won't be pleated,
and my figure will be correct.

When I'm thin,
I won't look like a bloated toad.
When I'm thin,
Like I did when I was ten years old.
When I'm thin,
My twisted psyche I'll finally decode.

When I'm thin,
I'll finally have some confidence.
When I'm thin,
I'll fit into size 8 pants.
When I'm thin,
I'll finally get a chance
at long-denied romance.

When I'm thin,
I'll get a standing ovation.
When I'm thin,
I'll have a sexy new reputation,
When I'm thin,
I'll no longer be left with just my imagination.

When I'm thin,
Guys will think I'm cool.
When I'm thin
Over me they'll drool.
When I'm thin,
small objects won't get stuck in my butt's gravitational pull.

When I'm thin,
I won't be so round.
When I'm thin,
I won't be treated like dirt on the ground.
When I'm thin,
I won't have to pick my dates from the dog pound.

When I'm thin,
Into tight clothes I'll fit.
When I'm thin,
the chocolate habit I'll quit.
When I'm thin,
I won't be so unfit.
When I'm thin,
On me, guys won't spit.
When I'm thin,
men won't hit me deliberate.
When I'm thin,
My pain I'll omit.
When I'm thin,
I won't be a 300-pound misfit.

When I'm thin,
I will no longer be ignored.
When I'm thin,
my company won't be scorned.
When I'm thin,
I won't die un-mourned.

When I'm thin,
I'll finally earn some validation.
When I'm thin,
I won't have to suffer the world's indignation.
When I'm thin,
Suicide won't be my constant contemplation.