This is life, this is me.
Is this who I'm supposed to be?
Silent cries, broken dreams.
I never thought I would be so weak.
Deal with this, deal with that.
I raise my hands, but you slap them back.
Pick me up, push me down.
Either way you're the one that's crowned.
Who am I supposed to be?
I try to fit, the world's tight on me.
Hurtful words painted black,
an empty heart that gives nothing back.
[chorus]
This is life, this is me.
Is this who I'm supposed to be?
My mind is set on over-drive.
I see the light, but it blinds my eyes.
Call me plain, call me fair.
But honestly I don't really care.
This is life and this is me.
Someday I will have enough
and someday I'll be giving up.
For now I stick with what it seems,
a hopeless wreck in the stormy seas.
Author notes
Freewrite lyrics. They aren't complete. . .kinda got stuck. I know it needs work, so please be brutally honest and give lots of suggestions!!!!
What do you think so far?
Comments
-
you are definitely a better writer than your brother.
i read the poems of your brother that you posted and there you said that you were kinda jealous of his aptitude in writing...well, i tell you, you don't have to be...you have a great talent in writing that is definitely better than your brother's...i'm not saying that he is not good...but, your style is way stronger and you have a polished way of saying things that makes the reader feel what you wish for them to feel...so, in that you are, for me, quite a good and effective poet...
this is a great piece that i really love...
so, keep on writing, ok?
leigh
-
wow i love it! i have no criticism..sorry
-
I dont like in the chorus the bit that is "blinds me eyes", would read a lot better if it was "my". Other than that it is really good. Great stuff
-
This was absolutely AMAZING!!! I loved the last line. It was my favorite. I also likedthe part where you said about this person always being crowned. Keep it up!!
Ashlie
Adding your comment:
