Runaway
Stringent security for a fragile soul,
For a fractured person, in a sinking hole
For a twisted mind and broken heart
For someone who needed a different start
Behind smoking fire and stained glass door
Seeking the window; finding the floor
Hunts an answer, but discovers none
A deadly mission has just begun
Once things are done you cannot go back
Your footprints forever etched upon the track
If you get too far you can’t start new
You cannot runaway when it is you
Comments
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hey there
the content of the poem isnt bad, what you are trying to say I've heard many many times before in the same exact way just with a few words changed around...ummm the best advice I can give you to make this actually flow would be to check your meter, when you are rhyming in poetry, there's a thing called meter. It's the syllable count that is in each line that rhymes with another line, so if you have 4 lines in a quatrain(paragraph containing four lines that usually rhyme) then the lines with the rhymes at the end of them, and even the lines in the middle or that don't rhyme, should have the same syllable count as the line it is rhyming with. Now you can play around with this format if you want to, like having a stanza that goes...
8syllables
6syllables
8syllables
6syllables
etc. etc. this will help your poem flow alot better and make your rhymes sound alot less forced. Hope this helped some and hope to hear from ya sometime soon.
TTYL
MMlanguage: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 3.
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