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Another stolen poem (my brother will kill me!)

I can see it crawl across the room
from the shimmer in your eye.
It caresses me with warmth,
keeping me alive.
I hope it draws me near
for this chill is by far
a satisfaction to vain
to keep inside this scar.
I feel so borrowed by content
that I want to run and hide.
Though how can I ignore
the light that it confides.

Draw me a bit closer
to tickle at my ear.
These words are much too soft
for me to hear as clear.

The sparkle is the line
that forbidden secrets flow.
For me to find the treasure,
I fear I must let go.
Half a step to close
and there's another life.
The future is my hostage,
my is gun is the strife
Wave around this hate
and then we'll see who leaves.
Maybe when it's over
you'll still be here with me.

So, what do you think?

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Reviews


  • Papyrus
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    you can do better

    psh. don't be so hard on yourself. he writes in nursery-rhyme, among other things.

    best,

    Pap


  • Sarah Under Water
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Quit stealing!

    Your brother is a great writer, but so are you (in fact, I like your poetry better)! You are a FANTASTIC writer, so quit stealing from your brother and write your own work! I want to read what you have written!

    Sarah : D