The tempting vibrations of lust
possess every fragment of desire
hidden well beneath insinuated chastity
Valiant heart beats of admiration
muffled by disintegrating morals
decimate attempted self control
Fantasies of scandalous euphoria
selfish acts of unjust jealousy
distraction of untold secrets and lies
Deception && Inveracity
I've returned to SP after a very long absence. Tell me what you think?
Comments
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Self control or the lack thereof?
Is that the issue? I think that's what you're hinting at. It seems to be addressing the issue of not being able to control of your...thoughts about someone. I thought if I looked up the word Inveracity it might give me more of a clue but it's not in my electronic dictionary. -
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That is the what the poem is about. Not being able to control oneself, both in thoughts and in actions. Lust and sin surround both of which. Inveracity is basically just lies, or untruth. Thank you for your comment.
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The tone is strong, but the lack of concrete images left this too obscure and abstract. But since the abstract content is consistent throughout the poem, i would assume that was the tone you were going for. It just felt that this poem needed to be grounded by something, not necessarily an overflow of images, but one concrete image that would make this real.
I like what you are trying to explore in this poem. It has a fragmented/choppy tone that does work for the sort of texture you are going for. The different 'images' you give for each stanza also worked. Hope that made sense and that helped.
-iphios -
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Thank you so much for your comment. It was my intention with this poem to make it some what abstract, only to hide what the poem was actually about, maybe out of fear. But I feel that you can catch a sense of the poems meaning through deep analysis. Thank you again, so much for your comment. Much Appreciated.
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