To a single guy
A woman is a dangerous thing
I’m not talking about the women
He dates
But the woman
He winds up living with
Or married to
And after years of him
Doing his wash
Mixing colored and whites together
And throwing them into a draw
Now she separates them
Uses bleach and fabric softener
Irons and folds and
Puts them away neatly
And after years of
Sleeping on dirty sheets
Or a bare mattress
Now she frequently changes
The sheets and makes
Hospital corners
And after years of
Paying the bills late
And getting threats
That the electricity
Will be cut off
Now she pays the bills
On time
And though their sex life
Might be a little dull and routine
Its convenient, can be timed
To climax, right before
The start of Sports Center
As opposed to all those
Late nights in bars
Where you usually strike out anyway
Now where the danger lies
Is like a domesticated lion
Though confined
He comes to enjoy
That steak the zookeeper
Puts in his cage
But if she were to stop
It’d be pretty hard
To return to the wild
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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To be honest Dave,
I don't know what Xylophone's problem is. I found this both entertaining and a little enlightened. If I didn't feel it was beneath me I'd go read his laundry list and make sure he had at least one comment. However I don't like to waste time. My favorite lines were in reference to the conevience of timing, though I would time it for a good action movie. Thanks for sharing this poem with us.
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It's always a mistake to title a poem with the title of a much better poem. Why am I reading this drivel when I could be re-reading The taming of the shrew. I am ashamed that this poem is so simple. The text sounds like one of those chubby hubbys on TV sit coms espousing his hapenny Punch's version of Punch & Judy. "With this ring I thee wed, and with this fist I smash your head" is the title of a really wonderful poem by what's his name...
John Irwin? -
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hey xylophone
well yes, this is like a sit-com, which everyone says are corny and nonsensical and trite and yet they sit down to watch everynight while their copies of Shakespeare sit on the shelf getting dusty. of course these types of snobs tell all their friends how they never watch sit-coms because they'd rather be reading Shakespear.
also I noticed (on this site) that the harsher critics have the least talent. the two poems you posted have zero comments, Octopus makes no sense and Ratatouille is a laundry list only not as entertaining.
thanks for the read,
Dave
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I know a couple with complete role reversal. He the zookeeper. She the animal. Which is worse? Why can't they both stay in the wild?
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hey poem
yeah, why can't they both stay in the wild? good question.
dave
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Wow.
Really powerful. I love the Sports Center reference. -
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hey carefully destructive
wow, i figured that someone who liked the SportsCenter reference would be a guy. thanks for commenting.
dave
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Point scoring
I'm only commenting as apparently I get double points if I do Dave. Good and I agree actually as others said, and not at all mysoginistic, just knowing. Frank
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hey frank
first and foremost its all about the points, and i'm glad you said good, however i'm dissapointed you didn't find this mysoginistic, I'll have to work on that.
dave -
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Hey Dave,
as many have suggested I found a dictionary. I used it to look up mysoginistic. Guess what, I not only know that it means one who hates or mistrusts women, I also
know that it's really spelled misogynistic. That's what you get for copying off the guy next to you.
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Always a good read, Dave...
..and always fun. But Jeez, your view of women always depresses the *&%! out of me.
xx RA -
A Salutory Lion's Tail (?)
Hey Dave. This uses stereotypes to great effect and many a young guy will be slitting his wrists or dumping his steady immediately after reading it. Poetically it's a classic 'Ochs' and gave me a broad smile, as usual. I have an e-mail about lions being used to describe the holy state of matrimony. Picture one (Life BEFORE marriage)shows a male lion mounting a female in the wild - he looking mighty, lord of the jungle, roaring his triumph, she looking pleased and suitably submissive. Picture 2 (Life AFTER marriage) shows a scene from a zoo. In the lion's cage, himself is backed up against the wall with a look on his face that is pure sheep, defeat written all over him from drooping mane to sagging tail. Herself, who has him pinned there is leaning aggressively forward, mouth wide open in a roar almost as loud as his once was in the jungle. It's a salutory tale, just like yours is. Good poem, as always. >W< -
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hey john
thanks for the read. that pic sounds like a classic. i just thought maybe its the guy who has no one that reads this and is ready to marry the first girl that comes down the pike who will stop and think twice.
dave
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this is great!!!!!!!!!!! trully sums it all up.........
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thanks LD
good to hear from you.
dave
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stag
Dave,
an interesting thought. but if i ever get that far, to marriage i mean, then i better be pretty darn sure that the stakes will always keep coming. which seems to be quite the feat nowadays, as half America is divorced. my parents included. it's a spreading epidemic.
as for now...
BORN TO BE WI-I-I-ILD!
best,
Pap
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hey pap
yeah, i'm the product of a divorce myself. anyway enjoy your freedom and sow your wild oats while your on the other side of the cage.
dave
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so, have you been tamed?
hi, dave...
this is a great piece. then, again, have you ever turned out anything mediocre? anyway, i would like to thank you for sharing this poem, because this just shows how men or women for that matter can't live without their partners...the part about the laundry made me laugh...because that was exactly how my husband did his when we were not yet married...
there is really a great point to this poem, dave, that should be seen by a lot of people...because i, myself, can't also imagine what my life would be like without my husband who wakes up early to make breakfast for me and the kids...so, kudos to you, dave.
by the way, i would just like to ask about line 11...by the last word "draw", would you have meant "drawer"?
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hey leigh
always good to hear from you. its my daughter thats really got me tamed, makes going t Wal-Mart or the store a big outing.
dave
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hear hear...
Preach it! Right on Dave speak the truth. Lol It is a damn hard thing to get yourself back out in "to the wild". To Re-Release yourself to all of the available, we'll say game that there is out there, doesn't really matter male or female. But of course lets face it, it's alot easier for a girl to get a guy to come home with her without charge. Then after a long relationship they are being let out into the crazy social society that we have today and they have to get used to being out in the wild again. And I think that you took a little bit of a different way to describe it but I feel that's the basic principle behind it. Overall I thought this was a great poem, Idk if I liked the unique line breaks and the short bursts of short line phrasing. Thanks a bunch for sharing, I loved the content and the sideways approach you took to writing it, making it very original and definately your own. Great job with that part. Congrats to you mate.
TTYL
MM
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 2.
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hey marcus
thanks for commenting, maybe its our lot to suffer be it in the wild or domesticated.
dave
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