In some graveyard
all the bones look alike
leg bones, arm bones,
ribs, skulls, scapula’s
some might be bigger
or smaller
but all are
more or less equal
so President Lincoln’s bones
or Einstein’s bones
or Jack Dempsey’s bones
or Joan of Arc’s bones
are no different
than any average Joe’s bones
or Jane Doe’s bones
bones only count
when there’s meat
on them
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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How cleaver!
You had me fooled! I didn't see that coming! I noticed in the first line that it's a graveyard not plural was that intentional? I noticed you repeated or quite a bit. I've been told to avoid that and recently repeated that advise to another poet. Should I recant? This poem clearly says the living are more important than the dead.
Or at least that's what it said to me.
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hey brian
thanks for the three comments.
i think i left graveyard singular because i wanted to put the reader in a graveyard and not give an overview as graveyards.
Repitition can be good in a poem, as it really drives a point home. this holds true especially at readings when the audience is fatigued. the repetition makes it easier to follow and is rythmic like a chant.
and the point of the poem is, its what you do while your alive that counts
dave
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Bare Bones
Hi Dave. Been a while, mate. Sucking the marrow from a skeletal themepark here I see.
Think I agree with W that it might tolerate being fleshed out some more. Nice ending as usual - pithy.
Hope all is hunkydory otherwise, Dave.
Cheers.
legGbonesconnectedtothe....thigGhbone
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hey legGbonesconnectedtothe....thigGbone
good to hear from you, i agree with youG and W, but i blame it on a carny who stopped the ride short, but alls fair in love, war and theme parks. hope you enjoyed your summer and to hear from you soon.
dave
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good
It made me smile .The nearer the bone the sweeter the meat holds good here.We are one in the eyes of God too .So be down to earth and humble is what I learn from tis nice poem.
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hey bl
thanks for commenting, yes be humble but also, what i meant is to make the most out of life.
dave
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haah! makes me hungry.
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We'll meat again
This is the bones of a good poem but you could have fleshed it out more.
Why this is so pleasing I just don't know. That's a great gift to have.
Also thanks for the comment on Buk (hope you noted your dedication in the notes). My computer won't let me reply through normal channels. Nobody's stamp of approval on that one mattered but yours. Not the form I would have chosen but I hope I made it work. He's been a big favourite of mine for a couple of years now. I recommend him to anyone trying too hard to be 'poetic'. Good talking with you. >W< -
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hey john
bones was like eating a rib, it tasted real good but before i knew it i'd gnawed it clean.
its good your promoting Buk here, its too bad there's not more poets as good. i've read everything he's written except tbe out to print stuff.
it's also good that you've kept your own style. to thine own self be true.
dave -
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hey john
not at all. As president of the Buk fan club you've been a member in good standing.
dave
and thanks for the link. -
Hey Professor, you talk like I never told you all this stuff before. You know there's a link from Allpoetry to a site called 'Oldpoetry' and Buk has a hundred or so poems there don't you? It's at
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/by/Charles%20Bukowski?order=popularity
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