Dancing,
Swirling, in white dresses
Not black nor Grey
Neither are they stained nor spotted
But the color of salvation
Young
Innocent, in their years on earth
Miraculously untouched by Satan's lies
Maidens of our generation
Speak to us, how do you do it?
Purity
Innocence, that others search a lifetime for
But never achieve nor fathom
Because innocence starts at birth
But the journey begins at adolescence
Snow
Frailty, is what you show
Desirable unto those who have not
Known you; Grace us with your precense
Dawn
Dusk, you're much beautiful than
either of these; cast out all your
Rubies and diamonds, my sweet,
For your value exceeds them
Love
A verb, not just a subject in a sentence
In it's entire, love is more than feelings
Even the most disciplined cannot master it
Oh, to never be soiled
Author notes
I added the last two stanzas today (9-17-2008). I don't think they fit the idea entirely. What do you think?
Comments
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I really like this poem, Grace. Mrs. Little would be so proud of you now. We should do more of this in her class.
You symbolism really stands out to me. You should work hard and finish the poem so I can read the final version^^ -
Hate nothing about it!
I like the title. I found it interesting the way you used White Dresses, which are known to become soiled easily, to depict innocence. Dancing - experiencing life, in white dress, starting out pure and clean. I'm not sure about the color of birth. I don't dislike it though. Remember I'm not the best judge of sybolism. I like the way you asked the maidens of this generation how they remain miraculously untouched by Satin's lies. Points out the fact that in todays day age it is even more difficult for todays youth to retain their innocence. I like the third stanza but to be honest it feels forced. I'm not sure what to suggest though. I think you need to lose - To understand. I think it's redundant because you've already said - But never achieve nor fathom. I'm not sure about the lines - because it starts at adolescence; begins with discipline. That doesn't ring true because innocence begins a birth. Adolescence is when certain temptaions become stronger. That is where the discipline comes in or is needed. I like the reference to the snow - clean, pure and frail all at the same time. Such purity is disired by many found by few. Oh, to never be soiled. The desire to remain pure. This poem has a lot of potential.
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