Lying on the floor
Cruled up in a ball
Tears falling from face
For no reason why
I lie here and I cry
Not because of you
But other reasons why
Why haven't got a clue
I wish I only knew
Why these tears fall from my eyes
I feel an emptiness
Don't know what from
I wish I only knew
Why I cry the tears I do
For no apparent reason why I just
Wish I knew why
Nothing going on in this head I have
All I know is these tears that fall
Aren't because of you
My heart and soul really loves you
I only wish I knew
I wish I only knew why I cry these tears
Comments
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Speaks to me!
I can relate to this on so many levels. I have those days when I cry for no apparent reason other than my cheeks need to be watered. I really like this poem. This one needs a little "tweeking" though. In the second line {Curled}. It's not needed but you could use the line - no real disgrace- as a fourth line to carry on the rhyme. In line four if you drop out {I} it will hold the rhythm better. Line eight doesn't quite sound right. Maybe you missed {I}-Why I haven't- or you might try dropping the {Why}. Line twelve doesn't seem to "fit". What do you think about -I just don't know why- maybe even lose the {I}. On line fifteen the {I just} on the end make me "trip" when I read it. If you move it to the next line it would be better. You might even consider -Only wish I knew why- Line twenty {loves} to {love}. I love you rather than I loves you. If it was me I would split your last line after {knew} and put {do} after tears. Now keep in mind all this is just my opinion. You know what opinions are like. Everbody has one and sometimes they stink. This is your poem and I like regardless.
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Thank you Brian,
Thank you,Your comment is highly appreciated. I am so glad you liked my poem.
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