Wow! Boy!
What's that smell?
Look in the toilet,
Well isn't that swell
Where's the air freshener?
Where's the window?
Wow, Zack,
You REALLY had to go!
But wait,
Who's that?
There's Kenny,
THAT's the smell
How did it go Kenny,
Did it go well?
Author notes
yeah, i know it's really nasty but me and some little girls came up with it when I had my brother and all his friends over last night. it was quite hilarious, though juvenile.
Comments
-
It tells a story better then a tale could. Very funny =D
language: 2, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 2, form: 4.
-
I love juvenile! Shel Silverstein was nothing but! I can't recall a single one of his poems I didn't love and still wouldn't love today! It's brings a smile to your face because it allows you to enter that childish frame of mind we so often have to forgo so as to stay productive or on-track. Kudos! :-P
-
Juvenile can be so much fun!
I enjoy simple little fun poems. They don't all have to deep and meaningful. Good thing too because I'd be out of luck. I'd break this one down some too. It will make it easier to read. Shorter lines have more impact on the reader. I accidently entered my review with only the title (again, grooaann!) so this is an edited comment and I can't see the poem but I'll send you a message when I have time letting you see what I'm talking about.
Very funny! I had a good chuckle and I needed it. Thanks! -
I like the simple format of the poem and that you're not trying to be poetic. I think this is more of a personal poem so therefore I won't comment on it or judge it as I would with others. I liked it, a little childish but we all have to remember we're all just a bunch of big kids at heart. Since it's a personal poem about a universal subject, POOPING LoL, with the characters in the poem people in your life, the poem's probably better reading for those close to you. But still works for those that don't know you. Also for this reason you had the option to keep it concise and there was no need for exposition with the characters b/c the poem's not about them personally, well not really LoL. In my opinion it definately wasn't a STINKER, but then again I wasn't there to smell it hahaha I'm a dork. Well I hope to hear from ya again, always love meeting new people.
TTYL
MM
language: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 3.
Adding your comment:
