Death Hurts
Everyone that you loved
Watching you being buried
In the cold, dark ground.
Unforgiving, uncaring...
Just another body
But to them, you were something more.
You were a friend, a neighbor
A cousin or child.
And now that you're gone,
You are still the same to them.
You always have been,
And you always will be.
You like?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Yes, I do.
I have to admit that, simple though it is, it tugged on my heart strings a little. I'm soft hearted old soul and it doesn't take much. This poem had me thinking of the loved ones I've lost. You're right we always hold them near and dear to our hearts. I have some suggestions that would help it flow better. I will message them to you if you like. Thank you for sharing.
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you are very welcome
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yeah
I agree with Brian below me, I thought it was a very simple poem with a very simple form and theme. But yet still had something about it that was unique, it was genuine and I obviously relatable to everybody. I don't think it will stand out as great for its more of a statement than a traditional poem. But you the emotions you wanted to express you did subtley. Which as a poet is something that takes control. So it was either a very good move on your part or just a very lucky mistake LoL. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and you did a good job overall. I enjoyed the read. I also like that you didn't try to be poetic or over the top with dramatic scenes or dramatic emotions. Congrats and I look forward to hearing from you again, and reading more of your poetry of course.
TTYL
MM
September 22, 2008